I can’t believe I’m writing something in response to Fox 2 Schmews.

Tonight, Fox 2 aired an ‘investigative piece’ they inaccurately titled, “Bondage club operates near pre-school, church; works as a non-profit.” Chris Hayes, I hope you read this and I hope you learn something about sex, pleasure, and how to do better at your job.

Dear Fox 2 “news,” please see picture below. That is all.

Dear Chris Hayes,

I’m appalled by what you called an “investigation.” Since it appears that all you did was let people say some random shit about some random shit (slap! pain! sex! children! jesus! whips!), let me provide you with research free of charge.

A ‘bondage club,’ would indicate that you were there to practice the art of bondage. Many people would think this means tying someone up with rope, but there are so many options! Scarves on wrists, cuffs, belts, nylon rope, hemp rope, more rope, chains, hair, clothing items, and really anything else you can use to bind something to someone, or someone to something, or someone to more someones. The possibilities really are endless.

What you saw was called a play party, where some people come to engage in kinky fun and some don’t. Most people sit or stand around and chit chat and catch up on gossip. It’s surprising how boring it can be. Some people like losing or giving up control for a while, while some people like feeling as if they are more in control (I just can’t think of anyone in these times who would need to escape reality a bit *cough Trump cough*). Some people like watching the kind of connection people have, some like watching people’s bodies engage in a beautiful dance of pain or pleasure, and some people like dirty ass feet. To each their own. Your title should have been “Play party operates near pre-school, church; works as a non-profit.”

I’m not sure if you’ve ever actually been here, but if you spit-you’re 87.65% likely to hit a school, church, or non-profit. So actually, your title should have been “Play party operates; works as a non-profit.”

The gall of that play party, operating as a non profit. How. Dare. They. I wonder why they would file for 5013c status…in your reporting, Susan Wright says they teach classes correct? On how to learn skills like how to use kinky things? Or a training program led by medical professionals to instruct volunteers how to spot danger, something unsafe, first aid, and consent for when they take shifts to monitor people engaged in consensual activities to maximize safety? Wait. They provide seminars and workshops for other shit too?! Like having sex with a partner who is disabled? Or how to rebuild a healthy sex life after surviving a sexual assault? Or teaching communication skills when navigating through hardships in your relationships? AND they offer these classes for free or on a sliding scale?! Psssshhhh. Chris-you think that qualifies as cause to be a non-profit? Almost forgot-they also raise money for people who need it and other non-profit organizations.

*Also, it’s mostly white people.

Chris, buddy…what is this?

Does she really think this is how people work?

I can’t believe you would use this quote. Because most people will walk into a room with people doing things and all the sudden lose all the damn sense in their mind. Right.

Also Chris, if you’re going to report on something you should use words right. Probably…if that’s your thing.

This is not a whip. This is a flogger, a flogger has multiple falls (pieces of material like leather, velvet, faux fur, feathers, or whatever you fancy). The person in the video was not using a whip, but one of these.
Oh hey Halle. Halle knows about whips.

A whip typically has a single tail (aptly called a single tail whip).

I know, I know…your big thing is alcohol. This is what you got from Joe.

If you use or endorse this logic, I hope you’ve never had a drink (ever ever) before having sex with anyone, ever. Chris Hayes, Santa knows.

Now, here’s where I get confused, Chris, and maybe you can explain to me why you think what you did was news…

Is she stating the obvious? Isn’t she going to a BDSM play party? Does she know that it stands for bondage, discipline, and sado-masichism? Do you? Isn’t either being hit or hitting kind of the…point, here? To go to this party you have to first have email someone, follow the instructions in the email, identify who you know, sign an agreement stating you will abide by certain terms and rules (that this woman has signed and violated-putting people’s safety at risk…you have to sign an agreement in order to attend in the first place…*insert side eye*), and if you break any of them you are banned. This includes public intoxication. Folks are asked to leave real quick. I’m super confused as to how this part is considered news-but you’re the professional here.

This makes sense. Ya know, because it’s a private party.

Here’s what Joe has to say:

Joe, you sound like a douche.

Joe, I don’t know you, but I can tell you why I don’t trust you or your ‘facility,’ for shit and would never take my ass over there. Alcohol is not what does the raping. Men* do. It is not bondage that does the raping. It’s men.* If you’ve got women being raped or assaulted, it’s because you’re letting the men who rape them keep paying you dues. GTFOH with your petty ass shit with STL3, you act worst than the littles I know.

Before I conclude, I have a message to the St. Louis kink community at large.

Fuck. You.

I was so excited to learn. I was so excited to meet really neat people. I still have the pleasure of having so many people in my life I met originally through kink. I learned about myself. I felt free to learn what it is that feels good for me, that feels not as good, what I like, don’t like, and can’t live without. I learned how to communicate these things to my partners and find joy in exploration of our wants and needs. Then I woke the fuck up.

Your white kink clubs in St. Louis will always be shit. It will always be homophobic. It will always be transphobic. Y’all said we can’t talk about race. This isn’t the place. Then Mike Brown was murdered down the street. Then the non indictment came. Then y’all still wouldn’t talk about race. You won’t talk about how you treat women (ironically I’m not talking about Dominance and submission-but how most of you asshats treat women who don’t want you to treat them like shit, like shit), you will talk about how you wish more lesbians were around, you aren’t mad that the white gays have their kinky bars, and you. still. won’t. talk. about. race. And y’all elected Trump.

That’s why I left. Not because I was busy, or stressed, bored, or anything else-I’m still kinky af. I left because you all are racist, homophobic, transphobic asshats and I can’t stand you. If you’re reading this and it hurts your feelings, feel free to actually do something about it that doesn’t involve defending your honor or asking me to do it for you. You can pay me to teach classes. I won’t give you more queers, I won’t give you more of my POC family, and I won’t give you my genderly diverse family. We can teach our own classes and protect ourselves because you sure as shit aren’t doing it for us and we sure as shit aren’t safe with you.

#truth always and forever

*I say men because it’s statistically true. But I see you femmes who abuse, it’s not talked about as often but you are seen.

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