Are you getting help for/information on your conditions?
Mental illness is isolating in the ‘real’ world where people don’t talk about it, are able to hide it or are ignorant about it. But you know better than I do that there’s nothing or no one you can’t find on the Internet, and turns out like half the world make up the online mental health community — people like you and me who need to be heard, anonymously. I would encourage you to share more about your situation, so you get advice and don’t feel alone.
I gave up alcohol recently after drinking pretty much every day for 3 years because my depression got so bad that consuming the CNS depressant on top made me suicidal. I really needed to come to terms with that first, and that was hard but it’s possible.