Battle Royale (with Cheese): The Digital Assistants
They say all men are created equal- but that sentiment doesn’t apply to digital assistants.

In a perfect world, your pocket personal peon would do everything for you; in 2017, digital assistants just aren’t there yet. That isn’t to say that they aren’t useful- in fact, they are becoming more and more useful every day. But the assistant that comes default on your device may not, necessarily, be the best assistant for you, and, like real life assistants, some are going to do a better job for you than others.
Engadget, this very week, performed an experiment of sorts, by having different writers on their page live with each of the five major assistants (Siri, Google Assistant, Cortana, Alexa, and Bixby) for an entire week. While I’m enthralled with this concept (I set a reminder on my phone this week to check the page daily to see the next article), there’s one element that they only touch on which I’d like to explore further.
You see, to me it doesn’t matter so much which assistant is best, what really matters is which device you have. Depending on what your mobile platform is, it will depend on which assistant(s) you are capable of using; for example, Bixby is relegated only to the Samsung Galaxy S8 and S8 Plus, and Alexa only works if you have an Echo in your home. On an iPhone, Siri is going to be more capable that Google Assistant, and on a Windows Phone… just kidding.
In the real world, you can choose which assistant you hire, but in the digital world, you are, more than likely, saddled with one of these assistants, chosen for you. And, depending on which device you buy, you may or may not be able to change.
While the Engadget experiment compared the abilities of each assistant in their home turf, I want to pit a few against each other and see how they compare, device to device. For my first Battle Royale (and hopefully not last), we’ll only be comparing three of the five assistants: Apple’s Siri, Google Assistant, and Microsoft’s Cortana. Alexa will be left out, because A) I don’t have an Echo, and B) I want to focus on the assistants that live in our pockets- the mobile based contenders. And Bixby is such a niche assistant right now (again, only available on two phones) that it won’t apply to the majority of phone users (and I also don’t have a Galaxy S8 laying around).
iPhone:

What’s available on the iPhone? Siri, natively, but you can also get Google Assistant and Cortana via the App Store.
Siri:
Apple undoubtedly started this digital assistant craze with Siri. She’s the oldest, most well known assistant on the market today, and if you have an iPhone in your pocket, Siri is already on your device, as she’s baked into the OS, which means she’s always a home-button press away from being there for you emotionally.
Siri is well known for her banter, and easily has the bedside manner to be a great conversationalist, except… Siri doesn’t like to talk. Which is weird, I’ll grant you, for an assistant.
Siri is extremely capable when it comes to performing tasks. Setting reminders, alarms, adding things to calendars- you know, the things one might pay an assistant for. She can handle a slew of basic tasks, such as “open IMDb” or “send a text to Susie.” And she is getting smarter in the background with every iOS update, suggesting apps when you need them, peeking into texts to offer contextual information such as suggested events for calendars and highlighting movie titles (ones she recognizes, anyway). Siri’s voice activation is top notch, though sometimes she tries to answer too quickly and I don’t get everything out that I was saying before she begins to attempt an answer.
But ask Siri something more nuanced or detailed, such as “who wrote the score for Corpse Bride,” and she stumbles, bringing up a measly web search result (and when driving and asking your digital assistant mundane questions that probably should wait until you’ve parked, the last thing you want to hear is “I found this on the web” with the expectation that you will now look and read the screen- I had to reword my query to get a direct answer). One of Siri’s biggest problems is her aversion to reading; rather than answer the question verbally, she tends to pull results for you to read on the screen. And, more often than not, if I’m using Siri (or any digital assistant), it is because I can’t get to the device to look at the screen. In fact, providing web results (to varying quality) is Siri’s go-to for anything that hasn’t yet been programmed in.
The problem with Siri is that development is reactive, rather than proactive. Apple once explained that Siri gets updated when enough people are asking a certain question (I couldn’t find anything regarding whether this is still Apple’s policy); rather than bake more capabilities in, it takes a certain number of us to ask “Who wrote the score for Corpse Bride” before Siri will be able to answer properly. Meanwhile, the things Apple does add are often gimmicky; in connection to this year’s The LEGO Batman Movie, Siri was updated to respond to Batman’s “’Puter” command and give Bat-related responses. While entertaining, this did nothing to progress Siri’s actual capabilities. And when it comes to her actual capabilities, Apple has elected developers to build functionality via SiriKit. So that means, when I ask Siri to take a note in Google Keep or Microsoft OneNote, she responds with “I wish I could, but Google Keep (or OneNote) hasn’t set that up with me yet,” meaning it is on Google or Microsoft to add that function. In other, more annoying instances, Siri insists upon using Apple’s apps; if I say “Play Mandy Harvey in Spotify,” Siri plays Mandy Harvey… in Apple Music. Even if I delete Apple Music from my device, she won’t play it in Spotify, I’ll just get an error message (“Hmm, I’m having trouble playing that. If you aren’t on Wi-Fi, make sure cellular data is enabled”).
Of course, iOS 11 is just around the corner, and with that Siri will no doubt get some updates. But I’ve been on the iOS 11 Public Beta for a couple months now, and frankly the only thing she’s improved is her voice- she sounds more natural. What’s the use in her sounding more human if she still can’t answer a basic question or refuses to read results out loud?
Google Assistant (and Cortana) on iOS:
But, lo and behold, Siri isn’t alone on the iPhone. Via the App Store, both Google Assistant and Cortana are available (as well as some others like Hound). Unfortunately, though, these third party assistants aren’t granted as much control over the iPhone. Sure, Google Assistant and Cortana can still send a text and emails, you’ll eventually run into roadblocks, primarily when it comes to system settings (only Siri can turn on low battery mode or turn off wi-fi). The third party assistants are also not allowed to open apps, such as IMDb (Corty does a web search, while Google does open IMDb in Safari, but not the app). Likewise, Siri is the only one capable of being summoned by voice; the other guys, you have to open the app first.
Siri has gotten a bit better at strings of related questions, like asking who Abraham Lincoln was, and then asking “Who was his wife,” which will bring up Mary Todd (again, not spoken, just an “I found this for you”). But she still stumbles if, say, I ask her to find Viva Chicken for me, and then ask how long it will take to get to a certain location (I got indirect directions when I asked for drive time to the Park Road location, but a direct answer when I asked for directions to “the closest one”). But Google is the better match when it comes to long form questions, as Assistant was built for such things.
The odd thing, though, is that Google Assistant on iPhone isn’t as useful as the one on Android. Asking the same string of questions regarding Viva Chicken on an Android device, Google never fails to give me multiple locations, and then hone in on the drive time to any one of them, regardless of how I ask the question (“how long will it take me to get to the one on Park Road” or “how long will it take me to get to the closest one”). But on iPhone, Google Assistant cannot seem to follow that string of commands, and always tries to redirect me to a local school two minutes away. I’d chalk this up to Apple not giving Google complete access to GPS, except Cortana has no problem following through (though the aforementioned “how long will it take me to get to the Park Road location” phrasing still stumps her just as it did Siri). Other small oddities are in Google Assistant’s presentation, where when I asked “what was James Cameron’s first movie,” the iOS version only brought up the Wikipedia page (and read the first paragraph out loud) while the Android version told me it was The Terminator before reading the Wikipedia selection.
Conclusion:
So which one is the best on iOS? Well, that’s a question without a clear answer. It is going to depend on what you want to do. If you want touchless activation, or system controls, Siri is the better assistant. Siri, however, plays favoritism for iOS in that if I ask her to play a song on Spotify, she plays it in Apple Music (I have to say “open Spotify” and then find the song myself-which is not a good thing if I’m driving) and GPS directions will only be opened in Apple Maps. But when it comes to actually wanting useful information, especially having that information read aloud to you, Google is the clear winner (Cortana brings up voiceless searches more often, like Siri). But Google on iOS isn’t comparable to Google on…
Android:

What is available on Android? By default, Google Assistant (or Google Now, on older devices), but Cortana (and a plethora of others) are available via the Google Play Store.
Google Assistant (can’t she have a catchy name?):
Granted, Android is going to vary from device to device. But unlike with the Android OS itself, OEM’s are not allowed to modify or inhibit Google Assistant, even if they have their own assistants built in (looking at you, Samsung- Google Assistant also lives on devices with Bixby), as it is baked into the Play Store, rather than into the OS. That means that the rollout for Assistant was a lot smoother than an OS update (no kidding), as OEM’s and carriers didn’t have to look at it and tweak it to their preferences before shipping it out.
That said, I’m running Android 7.1 on the Moto E4, a budget device if there ever was one (but still a cheap device that can run nearly toe to toe with my iPhone SE- more on that in another post). And while Google Assistant is a half-second slower than the iOS counterpart (though if you count the iOS splash screen that appears before the app initiates, they are probably on par), it makes up for it in usefulness.
Obviously, Siri is a non-contender when it comes to Android. The only app Apple has ported to their competitor is Apple Music. But, like Siri on the iPhone, Google Assistant has complete system control over the OS; turning on the flashlight (even with the Potter-ific “Lumos” command) and turning on battery saver mode, etc and so forth. But it is a clear head and shoulders over Siri’s performance in that it combines those abilities with the robust information center that Assistant is. And, unlike iOS, there’s no roadblocks, there’s no stumbling around, there’s no limitations outside of the limitations of the program itself.
Google Assistant has even scared me a couple of times with the sheer amount of knowledge it has. For example, I was watching a movie at a friend’s house last week (an old dvd copy of The Three Amigos, which sadly wasn’t nearly as funny as I remembered it to be), and, without any connection to my friend’s wi-fi or his Blu-ray player (and again, this was an old copy of the dvd), Assistant was able to identify which movie I was watching and told me what year it came out, with no context clues given as to what film was on the television (sadly, I have yet to repeat this occurrence, but not for lack of trying). Is she psychic, though? That’s sounds like something out of science fiction…
Google Assistant also has some offline functionality, which is unique among the digital assistants (both Siri and Cortana will stare blankly at you and demand either wifi or cellular data to proceed). It can save searches for when you do have signal (and will notify you that you have results waiting), and can still control the basic functions of the phone sans signal. Assistant also keeps a record of your entire conversations, so if you are trying to remember what you asked three hours ago, you can scroll back and find it. I was able to scroll all the way to Tuesday, August 8th (when I activated the Android phone), but on the iPhone I was able to go all the way to July 22nd before I had to stop (and if I wanted to go back further, I’m given a link to view my activity through the web). I can’t seem to ask Assistant to find a previous search for me (or maybe I just need to know specifically what I’m looking for and not a generic “what did I search last Tuesday”), but I can search keywords in the activity log on the internet, and it will find every instance I asked for something pertaining to that keyword. Neither Siri nor Cortana even offer a look back at what you’ve previously searched (Siri does to an extent, but seems to forget previous searches rather quickly; she only remembers when I asked her to play that song in Spotify ten minutes ago, but doesn’t remember the barrage of questions I asked her minutes before that in preparation for this long-winded blab-fest). You can also type to Assistant if you don’t feel like looking like a moron on the subway talking to your phone (Cortana can do this too, but for Siri you can only go back and correct what she heard you say).
Assistant has more fun than Siri, as well. Though Siri can be snarky at times, Assistant comes built in with jokes and games, even providing you examples of fun things you can ask. Get her to tell you a random fun fact, to show you a funny video, or just to “surprise me.” You can have endless fun asking Assistant useless things and getting a response. And Assistant can even act as your fact-keeper. Tell her things like “my favorite color is red,” and she’ll respond with “Alright, I’ll remember that.” And she’ll remember it. Now, I probably won’t ever forget my favorite color, but this can hold more useful information, like that locker combination you always forget, or your wi-fi password. These answers, too, aren’t stored on device; I told Assistant on my iPhone what the wi-fi password was, and immediately asked Assistant on my Moto what the password was, and I was given the correct information.
In fact the only real hangup I have with Google Assistant (on Android or iOS) is that it can’t identify a song that is playing. That feature is available through Google Now (the main Google feed, and the original Google assistant that Assistant replaced, which still lives on all Android devices alongside Assistant), but for some reason has not been lifted to the Assistant program. Both Siri and Cortana (on all three OS’s) can identify a song, no problem (on Android, though, there is a handy widget that you can add to the home screen).
Update:
I want to bring up a couple of quirks I’ve run into since publishing this review. I had to factory reset my Moto, and since then, I’ve lost faith like the keyboard to type to Google Assistant, and the ability to look back on previous requests. I’ve checked for updates both in OS and for Play Services, but nothing has, as if yet, brought those features back to my phone. Weird.
Cortana on Android:
But what if you don’t like Google? Well, Cortana is ready to be installed on your Android, through the Play Store. Cortana can replace Google for most things (and can even be set up as the default assistant on most devices), but, like the iPhone, is not allowed to alter system functions (at least, not on my Moto). She can, however, connect to a Windows PC, which is hella useful if you don’t have a Chromebook, allowing you to read and respond to notifications on your PC. This is a feature that iOS has built in if you happen to have your entire tech ecosystem in Apple’s pocket, but is great for the millions of users of Windows 10 (and likewise, third party apps can mimic this feature for Chromebooks). Cortana is decent at providing information, but still won’t compare to Google’s vast knowledge base.
The Cortana interface is nice, though, as it has a (unfortunately Bing-powered) newsfeed for you to glance through. Like the Google Now feed, it provides news stories based on your interests, as well as calendar events and other important upcoming to-do’s. Cortana is also packed with some fun- she tells corny jokes, scary stories, and even does a few pop-culture impressions. But her responses are limited; you’ll get more of a Siri-like response from her, as she tends to wordlessly provide (again, Bing-powered) search results rather than reading the information. And, unlike her counterparts on Windows, she can’t seem to identify a song.
Conclusion:
As Friday’s Engadget article said, Cortana on Android feels like an alien invader. Cortana wants to come in and supplant Google Assistant and become number one, and in many ways she can; she offers to add herself to the lock screen, offers a home-screen widget, and can replace Assistant as the default; but you can’t recall her from any screen with the “Hey Cortana” command, and she lacks the ability to work offline or to control system functions, at least on my device. The only real reason I have her installed at all on my Android is her ability to connect my phone to my PC, so I can respond to texts without having to stop what I’m doing on my computer to pick up my phone.
In every way, on an Android device, Google Assistant is going to be the better choice, given how well integrated and robust the Assistant is. Even others like SoundHound’s Hound or Samsung’s Bixby aren’t going to be nearly as good as Google’s own efforts, as Assistant is poised to take advantage of Google’s vast wealth of information.
If you really want to use the most of Cortana, you’d have to switch to…
Windows 10 Mobile:
Just kidding.

But seriously, Cortana, like Google and Siri, works best in her native environment. Since Windows 10 Mobile is all but extinct, Microsoft has been working to bring her features to iOS and Android, but Cortana will never have complete control like she does on a Windows device. That said, she’s not as useful in Windows Mobile as Siri is on the iPhone (you can’t even summon her with your voice), and her answers, while more often than not better than Siri’s, don’t stack up to Google’s.
That said, if you find yourself rocking a Windows Phone (and despite their massive failing status, I still love them dearly), Cortana is going to be your only option, as Google Assistant is nowhere to be found in the Windows Store (nor are millions of other apps). But that connection to PC’s is just as good, if not better, on a Windows Phone as it is on an Android, and Cortana is capable of a wider range of features in her native format (such as the aforementioned song recognition and device controls). While more similar to Siri in more than a few negative ways, Cortana is a little more open minded; at least, where third party apps (few and far between) are available, she has no problem working with some of them over Windows own native software; that said, she still won’t play Mandy Harvey in Spotify- which could be more because of Spotify’s waning support for the platform, rather than Cortana’s own failing.
Summation:
There is no clear winner (though Cortana is probably the clear loser, given that her own devices are flailing, and she doesn’t stack up to either Siri nor to Google Assistant on either Android or iOS). What it really is going to come down to is what’s in your pocket.
If you have an iPhone, Siri will have to be your go-to, simply because she’s easier to summon in a pinch (such as when you hands are full or your eyes are on the road). But if you want the best answers, especially answers read aloud, Google Assistant should be the first app you download from the App Store. Cortana on iOS really isn’t necessary.
Likewise, if you have Android, you arguably have the best assistant baked into your phone (so long as you aren’t running an outdated OS; Assistant only supported devices running Marshmallow or later when it launched outside of the Pixel/Nexus family, but apparently there are some work-arounds to get Assistant up and running on Lollipop-stricken devices). Cortana is definitely useful to have if you work on Windows 10 for your desktop/laptop needs, but beyond that, I wouldn’t consider replacing Google Assistant with Cortana unless you just hate Google for some reason.
And if you still rock a Windows 10 Mobile device in 2017… good luck.
The bigger debate in Assistant V Assistant (Dawn of Justice) is going to be device-based, rather than assistant-based. If you want the most out of any of these offerings, you are going to want to buy in to that OS; I prefer Google Assistant myself, which is why I have an Android phone. I don’t use Assistant because I have Android, I use Android because I use Assistant. Likewise, if I preferred Cortana, I’d likely use a Windows 10 phone. Or an iPhone for Siri.
But, I think, the determination of which assistant is the best is based on your needs. Do you need an assistant that can scour the internet for answers like Google? Or do you need one that is available at your beck and call, and more for basic assistant-tasks, like setting reminders and alarms, and adding events to calendars and texting friends, like Siri? Each assistant has their own place, their own strengths, and rather than picking a clear winner (which Engadget avoided, as well, though I am biased towards Google myself), you should pick your OS, and when you do, remember which assistant you are hiring. Don’t hire Siri if you know she won’t be up to snuff, which means don’t buy the shiny new iPhone 8. Or, likewise, don’t hire Google Assistant if you know you need an assistant who will work on your MacBook and iPad seamlessly, which means avoid the Samsung Galaxies or the Motos or the Pixels.
I don’t think, at least in the near future, it will be possible to accurately compare each assistant without comparing how they work on the device in your hand. Google Assistant on iOS is not equal to Google Assistant on Android. Heck, even Siri on MacOS isn’t equal to Siri on iOS.
Do I think there is a place for more than one digital assistant? Yes. In reality, I have Google Assistant installed on all of my iOS devices, and I have Cortana installed on my Moto. Each serves their own purposes on their respective devices.
Which assistant would you hire? Let me know in the comments, which one you prefer, and why.
A couple of updates: Since writing this article, I’ve seen several others on other websites. It seems discussing the digital assistants is a hot trend right now. But my favorite look at them, which seems sort of in line with what I did, was a YouTube video that asked the five major assistants different questions and showed their responses (if any). It’s a very cool comparison, and actually makes me want to try out Bixby.
I also learned, since publishing this piece, that Alexa is technically available on Android and iOS. There is an Alexa app that allows you to configure settings and download “skills” (something else I was unaware of) but the actual Alexa Assistant lives in the Amazon Shopping app. I played around with it a bit on Android, and while I can give it access to my calendar, I have yet to find a way to give it control over my device settings, and it won’t respond to the spoken “Alexa” command that the Echo devices listen out for. If anything, Alexa built into the Amazon app just feels like a preview, something you can play with to decide if you want to purchase an Echo.
