My sense of what’s right for me is stronger than my worry about what others think about me

- New Breed of Heretics featuring Lori Shook -

I met Lori only few months ago, and I was awestruck by her presence, she is the kind of person who brings clarity and depth in the room. Her reflexion about being a Heretic is authentic, fluid, powerful and inspiring.

What makes you a Heretic?

When I think of the word Heretic, I think of daring to go against the flow, in addition to the ability to choose. What makes me a Heretic? Moving from California to France to the UK could be one answer. Leaving engineering to be a coach is another. My desire to learn and understand humanity has been the driving force behind a number of big choices I made.

What gives me permission to be a heretic? When I was a child, I never felt like I fit in so I never learned that I had to fit in. That was the upside of being different as a child — ok, I’m a bit different from others, so why not… I don’t worry so much about what people think… I consider it, but I don’t base my decisions on what others will think. My sense of what’s right for me is stronger than my worry about what others think about me. I think this has given me the freedom to choose in a way that others might view as a bit radical.

What is your biggest act as a Heretic ?

Probably leaving a “real” job as an engineer to become a coach in the mid-1990s when only a few people knew what coaching was and nobody knew if it was a viable career path. It felt right for me and I’d been searching for the “right” new career for many years, so I went for it.

What does it take to make a choice?

Choice or change is crossing an edge. Even if it’s a simple choice, it causes some kind of disruption. So the difficulty in making a choice is usually dealing with the disruptions and side effects. Sometimes it means disappointing other people, and that can be hard because it can feel like it’s threatening a relationship which is difficult for most people. Knowing that not everyone will be happy is the hard part. But I generally have the mindset that at some level the people who care about me trust me to make the best decision for myself and that people will be best-served if I make the best decisions for myself.

Sometimes choosing means having to deal with the unknown or step away from safety and security. Learning to be with the unknown is incredibly important and helpful — even necessary when making bigger life choices. I find the unknown somewhat exciting — for a while anyway; it is still a bit overwhelming.

Sometimes the hardest part is simply ignoring the fear that tries to tell me that I might be making the wrong decision. But I find that after one choice there are always new choices and opportunities that come along.

What advice would you give to future Heretics?

Keep doing your own personal development work. Stay aware of how you make choices and how you talk to yourself. Learn about yourself and how you can trust yourself. Find an inner voice that you can count on — a voice that does not worry, panic, or fret but can simply see the truth for what it is.

Remember that you can choose your mindset, the way you think and how you talk to yourself. It’s your mindset that will enable or prevent you from making the choices you want to make.

Find your source of courage because, let’s face it: it takes courage to make changes.

Finally, decide how you want to contribute to the world — have that be your purpose and your focus. Pay attention and notice the opportunities you have around you. Then take bold steps to follow your purpose.

What would be the word that represent the Heretic in you?

Purpose.

“I want to contribute to the world in a particular way, so I choose to…”
 To finish that sentence, I need to listen to the inner voice that knows what the best choice is for me.

Lori Shook — MS, MCC, CPCC, ORSCC — Trainer, Coach and Train the Trainer Expert

Contact: Lori Shook — Shooksvensen, Ltd. Lori@shooksvensen.com