I’m depressed. Can you ask me if I’m okay? Maybe things would be different if you ask me, maybe I can feel that there’s still someone who cares for me. Can you do that for me? Please!

This is one of those nights where I can’t stop asking myself “What should I do to be happy again?” All I want is to be happy. Not that happy that I was showing and saying, but I want to be genuinely happy. I want to feel again the happiness they took away from me. But how can I be happy if there are monters who keep on pulling me down and telling me that I should kill myself? I’m trying to fight them for more than a year already but they are still there, telling me to get a gun and pull the trigger or get a knife and stab myself. I’m tired already and maybe one day I’ll do what they are telling me to do, maybe if I pull the trigger or stab myself, I can free from them. I know if I’ll do that I’m the loser but for me that’s okay to be called loser because all I want is to free from them.

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