The Unknown

When will it hurt? And how much?
Those are the questions I have been asking myself every couple days, before the race. It was my unknown zone. I chose the unknown. Till the very last days, my mind kept doubting me. Sometimes he scared me to death: never been that’s far out of my comfort zone! Yeah, that’s his job: keeping me “barely” alive. But I got to do it anyway, leaving all doubts behind. He’s not me anymore. Maybe I simply followed my intuitions. I thought it’s a myth. But now I believe in it myself: just another way to be alive again!
I got the race, with the best sleep ever. My body accepted whatever it would happen, since I already chose the unknown. I started slow: 30" lower pace, trying to keep it safe till I got to the unknown. Everything went as normal, till the bridge (10 km). Normally, I would run up if it was only 21 km to go. I did walk, trying to be smart. Before I got to the unknown, passed through my comfort zone (21 km), I did thought about giving up after finishing the first lap.
“You can try another time”, “Stop killing yourself isn’t a bad thing!” — My mind tried to find his last words
But deep down, I really wanted to see, how it would look like, out there: in the unknown. Maybe it would be worth to see. It worth, anyway. It made me feel like living again! When you start to do things you’ve never done, it’s miracle happen. My legs started to hurt just when I passed the safe zone. I did think this would happen right at the beginning before. So, it was still under plan, somehow. Then they hurt really bad, sometimes they refused to be controlled by my body. I had slow my pace down more, to keep on running. Then came the legendary “cramp”. Everyone talked about it. I found it at the unknown. Then I had to walk more regularly from 30th km, which was a really hard hit to my so-called runner’s pride.
“This is the time you can give up. You passed your safe zone already. It’s not much but it’s something anyway!” — my mind with his wisdom again.
Then I walked to the point of the bridge again (lap 2). Thankfully, I did not run up it in the first lap. It seemed like I want to quit every 100 meters, on the way up. I talked to any guys I saw on the burning bridge. Smart move! It kept my mind busy, he enjoyed meeting new people, as usual. Sometimes I couldn’t walk properly, so I had to stop every 100 meters. The pain was really worse than I thought. I would not recommend this to anyone, because it will be addictive. I had to use cold water to cool my legs down. Then I had to do it again and again. It’s really an addictive things! Don’t be easy on your body since they are still animal. The next water point was 2,500 m away. My body craved for cold water and my mind asked me to give up about 25 times.
When it was only 5–7 km away till Finish line, it felt like double in time to complete. Finally, I got what it take and had to accept my fate. My runner’s pride couldn’t take me home but my tired legs would, even if I had to walk all the way left. Well, at least, I ran the last few kilometers left, just to save his damn face. For me, I made it to discover my unknown. At least I enjoyed every bit of the journey, included the pain. Just like her: she’s my unknown. I will always choose the unknown…
(Might be continued)
