EverydayUI: A Boyfriend Analysis.

Growing up, I have always been skeptic of the idea of adopting a boyfriend. The loss of agency, the sacrifice of time, the emotional burden; it just all seems too much. I also noticed a variety of unsatisfied customers (in the forms of cousins, friends, and aunties) with their respective purchases of men, frustration with the shopping processes and the maintenance processes.

who needs dudes?
Who needs dudes?

Soon I found myself living the nightmare. Shopping for men was much harder than any other purchases. The financial, psychological and physical costs were gastronomical. I soon realized that with the hectic lifestyle and busy schedule of a college student, I needed a boyfriend that could meet the demands of my daily routine. So I took a chance in adopting Hwan (full name Tzuhwan Seet version 1.0) and I have not regretted it ever since!

Here are some reasons why I think Hwan is very well-designed:

Mobility and Compactibility

Tzuhwan Seet 1.0 is a tight-fit, compact model that was made for ease of transport and storage. He demands no more than half the college-standard twin-size bed. He is not unnecessarily big.

This model even comes with portable automatic limbs that charges using sustainable, renewable energy (sunlight, water, and food), meaning you don’t have to carry it at all. That being said, the AI control is not perfect, so sometimes he might not go where you want to.

You might have notice that the prominent feature of the Tzuhwan Seet 1.0 is the big arms. I did not notice this feature at the point of the purchase, but I have come to find it is very useful in everyday interactions. The big arms are perfect for heavy-lifting, door-opening, and especially you-wrap-around-ing.

Cleanliness and Autonomy

I first thought the design of Tzuhwan Seet 1.0 might mean it would be hard to clean. Because of his versatility when operating in different environments (outdoor, indoor, wilderness, ocean side, etc.), I thought it indicates the need for frequent washes. The fact that he is water resistant added to my concerns.

I was very pleased to find out that this model is self-cleaning. Throughly. Not only that, he will clean your room and your kitchen too. The slight faulty design is that he gives mean looks when your cleaning is not up to par.

The model might look slightly different in the first unboxing, this conditions is coined “Rooster Hair”. Also might come with a few scratches, and (mildly) dehydrated skin. Water twice a season.

The designers of Hwan really thought about autonomy during production. Hwan works better than any other AI system in the market, with the ability to adopt and adapt to a myriad of situations. Once trained, he will memorize how to treat you well, and his performance was rated 4.9 on techadvisor.com.

Some of his key performances include: leaving cute customized sticky notes for you in the morning, buying jasmine green tea during quarrels, taking you to study breaks, and appeasing your needs for constant adventures.

Comfort and Durability

The versatility that I mentioned really shines through with this design: Hwan was made to be your perfect partner. He will be there to cuddle you during Netflix, or hug you while you cry. He will sing songs when you are stressed, and buy you food when your stomach roars. He is made for dancing and swimming and walking and hiking and typing and drawing. You really won’t regret your choice if you go with this model.

Version 1.0 is also endearingly known as Daddy Hwan. Great paternal instinct.

At the end of the day, I cannot speak highly enough of the amount of comfort that Hwan provides. His design (from broad chest to plump bottom) wraps around you like an Emirate airplane free blanket. His thighs and arms make great cushion spaces, though he does come with a complimentary red cushion and foldable mat.

No matter how many times our relationship malfunctions, Hwan bounces back with great communication features, highly observant front lenses, and tentative listening state-of-the-art sound quality. Hwan is a great investment, a highly durable wear. No matter how rough you are, he won’t faze.

Design Constraints

Of course, being the first edition of its kind, the Tzuhwan Seet 1.0 isn’t without flaw. It comes with a slightly lower-than-average memory space (that you can fix using external storages); and it makes a lot of noises in the morning. Also, its battery life isn’t top-notch, so it needs constant feeding. Its battery may plummets after 12, or when Netflix is being played.

Because I need a place to document my naive, fragmented thoughts. Surely this will make an entertaining read a few years down the line.