Everything seems so urban fast.
Urban Fast: The fear to miss out on subtleties like parties, music festivals, travel trips and sale.
Everything seen as something to be edited, critiqued and commented upon. Nothing appears to touch the ‘chord of your strings’. Maybe you don’t play the guitar and believe in cheap electronic music. Your definition is your CV and your objectives can be written down.
CV: Calculated, predicted and constructed works to beautify your credentials merged in a page. The page defines you and your talents.
The standardization vehemently sets in.
What about those songwriters? Do they write for the attention? Or they write because they feel the power to create. To remain significant in an insignificant space. What about those happy lovers? Are they interviewing each other for a blissful future?
An extrovert by the day spends his energy to fit in and make others smile. I am him. An introvert by the night gets tired and is too afraid to speak. I am him. An ambivert operates in the middle of these extremities. I am him. Which one from the three of us is definitive?
Subconscious Mind Speaks: I am lost. I must be everything to know that I something. I must cheat to know I can love. I must destroy to start anew. I must reach my lowest to see my highest potential. I must get lost just to find.
This time now, with me feels good. Everything lost, is limited to now. The next moment can bring back entirety. The tune of a song, the sweet typing sounds of the keyboard and the hope that she is sleeping somewhere ‘alone’ peacefully brought entirety to me.
The saintly enlightened feeling inside me has finally arrived. I will execute actions the way I perceive it.
Saintly Enlightened Feeling: Trying to change patterns with the coming of awareness through severe contemplation. Usually lacks execution and ends with mere plans of priorities.
When you are too engrossed with everyone else you miss out on a single thing. You miss out on yourself. All of this ends now, the entropy changes. There is still time to experience rather than to tell someone “I was there”.
But before that I need to text her back, upload my latest venture on Facebook, buy a book I will never read, play a song I hate, order food items I despise and share a joke which makes me sad. To prove everyone, I AM WORTH YOUR TIME. I AM WORTH THE RIDE. I CAN SMILE.