The Apple Watch, a reincarnation of the iPod Nano, a kind of Bonsai-iPhone, has pissed me off is an understatement. So here goes…

Firstly, can the Apple Watch do to traditional mechanical wristwatches what Kindle did to paperbacks? NO.

Apple did transform six industries: PCs, animated movies, music, phones, tablet computing, and digital publishing. But can they redefine horology? I say no. In fact, the traditional mechanical wristwatch has become even more attractive since it now can be regarded as the “antidote” to the smartwatch. The Swatch watch brand will not suffer.

Who will suffer? I can see 5 direct casualties here.

1. Some watch makers offering more or less no-name, low-priced quartz watches.

2. Activity trackers – Think Jawbone, Fitbit, Nike Fuelband and their ilk.

3. The Cash Register, Credit Cards and Mobile Payment Apps – Stripe, Square, etc.

4. Sports Watches – Hey, Casio!

5. Apple’s own iPod.

I do not believe it poses any threat to haute horology manufactures. Will anyone in their right mind be trading in their Richard Mille for an Apple Watch? Certainly not.

Will I buy? NO. Will I wear? I might, if gifted and persuaded by people that matter to me, people I care about. Weekends, gym, beach, off-roading, casual to the office? It’s possible. Again, I can’t promise, but I might. I am old school and I associate my watches with chivalry. It is important to me.

I’m terribly specific about watches. You could pass down watches in your family. Imagine storing an Apple Watch to give to my grandson? Shudders.

My watches will last for generations, this Apple Watch will last for a year, if I’m lucky. On an emotional level, I can’t connect.

Emotions aside, rationally, the Apple Watch doesn’t fit under my shirt cuff without serious effort. Great design should not disrupt daily life, and a watch that doesn’t fit under a shirtsleeve is a no buy.

Apple Watch is NOT a Watch. It’s a NEW way to be distracted by lots of things.

A watch is a personal statement. A long-time signature. Don’t fake it!

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