Work in Progress

I’ll try to find the best way to convey the internal battles I have with myself far too often:

Am I doing something worthwhile? What am I really contributing? Why am I even asking myself that…

Stop second guessing everything — you’re fine. You’re ideas are valid. Throw it out there, see what happens. Stop worrying about the opinions of others, get your voice out there, be vulnerable, be heard. How else will I grow? …maybe I should rewrite that last email so it doesn’t come off so strong.

Find your confidence — clearly, they think you’re capable of getting this job done. So just do what you want. Stop asking for permission. Try without fear of failure.

Is this as good as I’ll be? This better not be it. I refuse to accept that.

How do I do a better job of becoming a leader? Am I not capable of being a leader? Am I too hesitant? Do I need to speak up? And who is going to listen?

Was my opinion balanced and based on facts? Did I let my emotions get in the way? Did it affect the message I’m trying to convey? Every freaking time… and I’m female, so of course this could be feeding into stereotypes.

Why do I care so much? If I stop caring, I’m giving up. I can’t quit. It shows weakness.

…this draft has been sitting around for a few weeks. Screw it, pressing Publish.