Tinder Made Me Do It

Will call him Tony. Tony sparked a conversation with me right away. We talked about politics, our love for NPR, yoga, eating habits, the basics. Then came all of his deal breakers, I mean without me even saying that I was interested, romantically, he began to tell me how: he would need to live in the same city until his children, 1 pre teen and 2 toddler twins until they were 18. He did not want any more children, he hated paying child support. He had HPV. Never graduated and worked 2 jobs.

I took a deep breath and thought, wow, I am a collegiate, young black woman, without children who likes to travel, disease free running my own company.

So why was I still considering this dickory? My last situation should have jolted me into being more discerning. Am I a hopeless romantic who loves the idea of someone saying kind things to me and that perhaps they would be a good lover? Am I brainwashed into thinking I must settle with someone who wants me?

I look at my moms relationships and realize it’s the latter. I need to love myself, take care of myself, believe in myself. I do not have examples of women who choose to be independent of men.

I need to be that example for myself.