The Bad Days
So this is probably a good time to mention what those “bad days” are like — especially considering I’ve just had a few in this last week.
We all have them. No matter who we are or what we’re doing, those bad days exist for all of us. But how do we react to the bad days? What happens to our mindset and focus when those challenges and problems start rolling in? This is where I think a lot of us slip up when it comes to “staying the course” — not a lack of skills, motivation or anything like that.
In the past — my reaction to the bad days was that of a coward. Plain and simple. My strategy involved running away from the problems/hurdles causing the bad day, hoping that if I ran fast enough and blocked the problems from entering my conscience I’d be okay in the end.
But the thing is, problems don’t have a shelf life. They don’t just disappear if you wait long enough. Sure there are some exceptions where you might get lucky and someone else indirectly solves your problem for you, parents are a perfect example for this. But you’ve still got to deal with the mental ramifications surrounding the failure to solve your own problems — so you just end up running away from different problems, the cycle continues.
Of course this is not a good way to handle the bad days, not long term anyway. So what did I do to change this mindset? What were the specific steps and process I incorporated into my daily life that helped me never experience a bad day ever again?
Acceptance…
It’s a stupid answer I know, and definitely not what you were looking for. But it’s the truth. I had to learn to accept that some days were just bad days. It was accepting that even though I was doing something I was passionate about, there are some days I don’t want to get out of bed. It was accepting that there are far more bad moments than there are good when chasing an extremely difficult goal. It’s just accepting that some shit won’t work out. That no matter how hard you try, no matter how good you are to others — some shit just doesn’t work out. There’s no other reason for this than, “that’s life.”
Don’t get me wrong, acceptance isn’t giving up. Accepting that some days are bad doesn’t mean we give up tying to make them all amazing, it just puts our mind at ease knowing they’re not all supposed to be perfect.
Accepting is relieving. I had the belief that those “successful” (in my opinion) never had bad days. I believed that having a bad day meant I was being selfish. How dare I have a bad day, or feel unmotivated when I get to do what I enjoy? But this thinking is nonsense.
When the bad days would swing by for a visit — I actually got angry at myself for having a bad day… How does that help anyone?
I still have trouble with this to this day. The thought of pretending the problem doesn’t exist still makes an appearance, though nowadays it’s the thought of accepting and facing the problem that wins the spotlight. I still have really bad days. The type of days where I get absolutely nothing done (and I mean nothing). The days where I watch 5 movies in a row and let YouTube eat up the rest of the time, all whilst letting my mouth complete a similar task. But instead of beating myself up about what I did during the bad day, I accept that it happens. I accept that everyone falls off the horse, and beating myself up about it does nothing to get me back up on the horse. Now instead of turning a bad day into a bad week because I’m angry at myself, I have one bad day followed by a week of trying to improve on the day. I don’t know about you but I think the latter option helps me more in terms of achieving my dreams.
And yes, I get how stupid this all sounds at first. I’m only able to confidently say this because I have actual proof that it works. I’ve got experience in the different lives of running away from problems vs. accepting and facing them so I know which one is better.
But I am aware that trying something new is intimidating, even if the change is designed to help. Trust me I know how silly “acceptance” sounds when you’ve only ever lived life a certain way. I know it sounds like an empty solution, an answer that doesn’t provide any real information.
But rejoice in the fact that we all have bad days. Be happy in knowing that they’re a part of the journey — and actually a good indicator that you’re on the right track. In the moments of those bad days, I know it’s next to impossible to maintain this mindset, but never forget they’re temporary. We can go through the worst of days, believing with 100% certainty that they’ll have to end eventually.