To Those Feeling Lost in Life
This is what you need to think about in order to find your passion.
This past spring, I was seeking wisdom. I was looking for someone with plenty of life experiences. Someone that I was sure to gain inspiration from. A fail-proof way to give me ideas for the trajectory of my life. I found myself getting into a conversation with my grandmother. Who better?
A discussion of aspiration, goals, and direction shortly transpired. I came to her with the desire to learn about myself through her experiences.
She worked as a nurse. She raised five strong, beautiful women. She has connected with amazing people, traveled the world, and has lived a full life.
Towards the end of our discussion, she looked at me with a kind smile and said,
“Nick, I’m 79 years old and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up”
The most ironically perfect statement. It hit me like a ton of bricks. 79 years alive and she is still “growing up”. Still figuring out life.
Tough luck for me wanting to figure it out now.
Throughout my life, I have explored a variety of passions. Many things have excited and amused me.
When I was 12, I wanted to become a wood craftsman after a friend showed our class the pen he made. I devoted hours upon hours of my time to reading and watching the craft at hand. It was exciting to learn something new that others didn’t know much about. Eventually, the interest faded.
When I was 14, I wanted to play video games for a living. I purchased a capture card to record me playing but it just didn’t pan out. I’m not sure what made me lose my drive to play and record but it just happened.
At 17, I wanted to start a career in robotics. I tried my hand through the use of computing platforms like Raspberry Pi and Arduino. This interest also began to fade after 50 hours of typing and running commands. I could program lights to change colors in 5-second intervals but at this point, robots weren’t on my mind.
I found myself distressed over so many attempts to find something I call a “passion”. I had friends who had lives consumed by tennis or by math or by singing. Why wasn’t I able to find and stick to the one thing that brought me an ever-lasting joy?
I wanted — no, I needed to find my “thing” in life. I’m not sure if it was the dramatic teenage uncertainty of life or the dreamer mentality, but something was missing. I needed a purpose, a greater belonging, or something to abide by.
I was curious to know how I could find my passion in life.
After that conversation with my grandmother, I started to think about what I was struggling to find, in a different way. Maybe life isn’t about finding your “thing”. What if it is about exploring a certain “space” in life?
This thought might sound confusing at first but hear me out.
Society advises us from a young age to pick a path. Pick a career. Pick the lane that you will stay in throughout life. High school introduces you to a path. College guides you in that direction. The workforce wants you to climb their ladder.
Don’t get me wrong. This is all good and well (more job security, more money, more prestige) but there is more to it.
Additionally, I don’t want you to suddenly convince yourself to quit your job and change directions in life like so many articles tell you to. That isn’t what I’m getting at.
What I came to realize was that it isn’t so much about how you find your passion but more so where your passion lies.
What if people just need to find their where in life. I shouldn’t strive to be “a writer” or “a software developer”. I should instead strive to encompass the space of telling stories or the space of building experiences for others. To foster an environment in which people can grow and elicit self-improvement through my words and creations.
Steve Jobs didn’t strive to become a CEO. He thrived in the environment that wanted to transform society into a digital era.
Banksy doesn’t follow the path to becoming an artist. He searches for the space in which people will experience thought-provoking ideas. An area that challenges the norms.
And Billie Eilish sure as hell doesn’t wake up searching Google on how she can become the biggest rising pop star. She expresses herself and her feelings inside the domain of music in which others can enter.
Personally, I have always loved sharing my words and my work to help others. Building experiences that others find beautiful or creating material so people can feel inspiration and happiness motivates much of what I do.
I don’t need to head towards one “thing”. I can expand inside a space in which I am able to give to others. In this environment, I would be able to not just bring happiness to other people but also myself.
It’s not lost on me that I grew up with many privileges and live a comfortable life. I work at a great company and I am dedicated to my career ahead of me. I have nothing to complain about in the grand scheme of things, but in saying that, it does not mean I have found my path or purpose in life. Nor should I at 23 years old (or even 79).
Regardless, to a dreamer, you can’t help but seek out what is (or might be) ahead of you. At least now I know I can be more content not trying to understand the how of finding my passion but instead, honing in on looking for my where. You should too.
