Controllables Vs. Variables

When the one controllable in our life isn’t so controllable, it’s paralysing.

Life is full of variables and controllables. Things we can control and things we can’t. The same applies to physical illness and the body’s functioning; our organs are variables, any one of which could strike us down at any moment.

The process of being sick is one of life’s uncontrollables, a variable if you like, and something that’s often unavoidable. It’s essentially our body failing us and there is nothing to be done about it but fight tooth and nail by taking the appropriate medical course of action.

If my body fails me, I’m a little annoyed, but realise that it happens. If I were to become seriously ill, I would probably see it in a similar light. The fact that I was seriously ill wouldn’t alter my view that it’s a fact of life: people get sick. If it’s my turn to be sick, so be it. Such is life.

In these moments I’m thankful that, depsite the failings of my body, my mind still works. So long as my brain still processes information, my mood doesn’t fluctuate too much, and I can still express myself with some degree of eloquence (however basic), I’m generally pretty happy.

The human mind is generally considered to be our fall-back. Something people cherish when all else fails. Something that won’t let us down. It wasn’t something I had given much thought about before a particularly sad epoch in my life.

Now for a disconcerting thought.

If the one constant in my life fails me, it’s a hard slog to pull it back from the precipice. If my mind becomes ill, it needs nursing back to health too. (That’s if it can be nursed. Some people will never enjoy good mental health again. Some will enjoy both good and bad periods of mental health. Others simply don’t want to hang around to find out).

My father went through that battle and lost; seeing him lose his battle was a sobering experience so early on in life.

I’ve often thought about mental illness. Depression, bipolar, anxiety — they all scare me witless. These illnesses strangle the one constant in your life. They render your thinking irrational, sluggish and often single-minded. By flooding your head with negative thoughts, the insidious nature of the disease takes root.

Here’s one way to look at it. If someone were to be a quadriplegic they would probably find solace in the fact that they were still sharp of mind. I know I would rationalise it as such. “I’ve been dealt a bad hand, but at least I’m lucid and can get on with life’s journey”.

Look at Stephen Hawkins — his body has failed him yet he has one of the best brains on the planet. Helen Keller body let her down from the start yet I’m sure she found great comfort in the fact that she had one of the shapest minds of her time.

The very pulse of our existence, our bodies most complex and important organ, can break down too. The organ that controls all our thoughts, emotions, impulses, and decision-making — the basis of our existence — could let us down.

The brain is the organ that conceptualised putting man on the moon, recognised gravity, and rationalised that the earth was indeed round. It’s not infallible. It can get sick too.

This is why it’s so important to recognise the debilitating side of mental illness. People don’t realise that depression and anxiety can prevent you from getting out of bed. It not only affects our mental state. It can cause us to be physically ill, panic stricken, and generally immobile.

It’s time we started viewing mental illness as a variable. Not enough people realise that your brain can let you down at any stage in your life. The more people who recognise this, the better the chances of recovery.