How dating and climbing the corporate ladder were sabotaging my weight loss.

Nichole Freije
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read
It’s odd to me now that I chose to wear animal print to a puppy party back in 2012.

I used to know all the great local restaurants and bars, and I never had to wait in line. I was even in Indy Scene a few times, remember newsprint? On the professional side, I was climbing the corporate ladder. I was named one of Indy’s Best and Brightest — twice. While I was winning friends and influencing people, I was setting myself up for diabetes and heart disease.

The Best and Brightest award looks really small because I’m really big in 2013.

All the networking, dating and celebrating lead to me gaining the 75 pounds and 75 inches I lost these last two years and going from a size medium up to a plus size 2x.

I was ambitious, and I justified my size because Oprah was successful. I was building my career, so I had to network, which means business lunches and drinks after work. It meant networking events with cocktails and fundraisers with desserts waiting for me on the place setting. Don’t get me started on the office break room counter with bagels, donuts, Halloween candy, cookies, birthday cake. Admission: as a stress baker, I frequently contributed cupcakes.

When I was dating, I would meet for drinks, then dinner, then dinner and drinks, and if we were out late night, add on Qdoba or Hot Box Pizza. That’s more calories than I burned running around the office, not to mention the alcohol slowing down the weight loss.

Girlfriends, I love you and it was fun celebrating life milestones, but we ate cake and cookies and champagne at every engagement party, bridal shower and baby shower. The sugar didn’t stop.

I detail all this because these professional and social pressures exist. It was hard to avoid or abstain, especially when I was navigating workplace hierarchy, searching for a soul mate and celebrating with my friends.

I knew if I wanted to get my health under control, I had to face reality head on and realize that no one cares how hard it and no one is going to change it for me. I had to figure out how to pack my lunch and still have friends at work or how to network over coffee instead of cocktails.

As for dating in a healthy way? Dating is hard enough, and I don’t have advice on how to make that any easier. And for girlfriend get togethers, I started bringing the salad or vegetables or a healthy protein dish.

Instead of being frustrated with the reality, I knew I could either stay overweight or do something about it. Complaining or feeling bad for myself wasn’t going to accomplish anything.

From 2010–2015, I was doing everything I could to reach my professional and personal goals. For that period of time, I prioritized my work and social life over my health, and that was OK for a little while. Just like missing a Monday is OK if you get back at it on Tuesday, prioritizing work, relationships and friendship may be the right choice for a period of time. It was for me, but I let it go on too long. Then in mid 2015, I couldn’t put my health on hold any longer.

Learn from my weight gains and losses during the last 15 years, and don’t beat yourself up over prioritizing personal or professional goals ahead of health goals. But please recognize that your habits compound over time, and the sooner you make healthier choices the better it is for your mind and body.

I’ve found that being open about the years I just didn’t have it together health wise is better than pretending I did. I don’t want you or someone you love to feel bad about professional and relationship priorities. It would be better if we could help each other along the way. We’re all in this together.

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