How do I promote self-confidence without body shaming women wearing sexually suggestive clothes?

Me on campus at my favorite plaza

I don’t want to make other women feel bad about what they wear, but I’m really struggling with the sexually suggestive clothing I saw on my alma mater’s campus today.

I want women (and men) to feel confident and comfortable in their clothes. I want others to feel safe expressing their unique styles. I talk about this regularly.

That’s why I’m having such a hard time articulating what I want to relay to the college-age women walking around campus in tube tops made of t-shirts and jean shorts so shredded it was hard to tell if they were wearing any at all.

We’re in the middle of a national discussion on how women are viewed, treated and silenced, and I don’t expect a college-age woman to understand me or believe me. But I wish I could tell her that she’s enough, just as she is, right now.

She doesn’t need to go bra-less, cut a 6-inch band of t-shirt and tie it around her breasts to be acknowledged.

She doesn’t need to wear jean shorts so shredded, we see more of her cheeks than the denim to be validated.

And she doesn’t need to care what I say, or what anyone else thinks of her.

But I hope she has the self-confidence she needs to know she is enough. Just as she is.

Speaking directly to her…

You are someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s best friend. You may choose to be a future mother, partner, mentor and leader. You are so much.
You have your own point of view and perspective to share with the world, and you don’t have to display your body to do it.

You may feel that way right now, and that feeling is real.

And the women who choose to do that may seem to get what they want right now. That’s real, too.

But that’s not the only way to get what you want in life, and I encourage you to present yourself in a way that makes you feel good about who you are.

To all the women on campus, I don’t know what you’re feeling or facing, but I do know what it’s like to feel good about who I am and how I share myself with the world. That’s what I want for you.


Thanks for listening to me. I’d love to connect and keep this conversation going. Would you say hi to me on Facebook Instagram Twitter or nichole@freijebrands.com?

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