The one where we personified release notes and then used them to offer some topical social commentary.

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So I’m hanging out at THE UPDATE, where the release notes go to drink after work. All the regulars are here, and I’m just quietly minding my own business at the bar.

Slack’s sitting in the corner, making everyone laugh, AS USUAL.

Facebook runs in, screams BUG FIXES and runs out.

LinkedIn has Instagram cornered by the Jukebox, going on and on about how professional their latest feature is.

Tumblr is out front, chain smoking with Spotify and ranting about some new experimental noise album from Denmark. …


The one where we wrote an open letter.

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An Open Letter To The Medium Home Screen:

Dear Home Screen,

How are you feeling lately? Is everything okay? How are you handling all the “Open Letters” lately that are passing through you? Do you read them all or just kind of skim over looking for the good stuff? I know how hard you work, and I know the volume can be overwhelming. So I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce myself.

My name is Collections, and I’m here to help showcase the best stories on Medium.

A few things about…


The one where we got really specific about what changed.

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Yesterday, we introduced a bug that caused the app to crash for some users. This has been fixed. In an effort to be even more transparent, here is exactly what changed in this release:

Showing 13 changed files with 56 additions and 560 deletions.

View app/Components/PostList/PostListDataController.h:

@property (nonatomic, readonly) ListDataControllerState *postListState;

- — (void)reloadPostsWithSession:(Session *)session; // PTR

- — (void)fetchInitialPageWithSession:(Session *)session; // loading when you open the app

- — (void)fetchNextPageWithSession:(Session *)session; // infinite scroll

+ — (void)reloadPostsWithSession:(Session *)session;

+ — (void)fetchNextPageWithSession:(Session *)session;

View app/Components/PostList/PostListDataController.m:

_postListState = [ListDataControllerState stateWithItems:@[]

pagingState:ListDataControllerPagingStateInitialFetch

error:nil]…


The one where we named insects.

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Today, a giddy expedition of iOS entomologists announced the discovery of what they believe to be three previously unknown species of insect, and have published their findings in the Royal Github Repository of Issues:

Avatarus Blankulum (Ghostface notifier)
Habitat: Activity screen
Field notes: This diplopod hides in the rolled up notifications, replacing the placeholder avatar with a blank circle. Travels in swarms.

Transcodus Mironum (Disappearing gif-roach)
Habitat: Post screen
Field notes: This persistent pest burrows deep into Miro, sporadically emerging to pull down gifs and replace them with a gray square. Nocturnal.

Emojius Tooclosus (Padfly)
Habitat: The author name field
Field Notes: Using emoji as bait it attracts its primary food source: the publish date into a padding trap resulting in a hard to read jumble at the top of the post.


The one where we got drunk with Casey Newton and he wrote an article about it.

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It looks like you’re trying to update your app.

Would you like help?

[ ] Tell me what’s in this release
[x] Just update my app please
[ ] Don’t show me this tip again

Great, so let’s go over what’s in this release!

[ ] Sounds good
[x] Clippy, no!

Ok! So first off, let’s talk about the bug fixes.

[x] Please stop

Deep linking from Facebook was a total mess, we’ve cleaned that up. Also, there was an issue where the follower state might be incorrect, that’s been corrected. …


The one where we made bug soup.

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Bug Soup
(Serves two)

Ingredients

  • 1 iOS app
  • 9 bugs
  • 1/4 onion
  • 6 straw mushrooms
  • 2 cups of water
  • 1 teaspoon of chicken stock
  • 1/2 lemon
  • Coriander (for topping)

Cooking instructions

  1. Boil water in a pan. Add the chicken stock and vegetables.
  2. Update header and sticky footers when coming out of ImageZoom.
  3. Refetch post and post user data if post user data is not in cache.
  4. Fix issue where quote responses in conversations were not shown in the post.
  5. Never show highlight selectors in the stream or display an unstyled tab bar.
  6. Fix issue where the bulk post fetcher would stop fetching batches if there was an error for one batch. …


The one where we attempted to capitalize on Star Wars®.

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A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

Episode II.V
A NEW RESPONSE HOPE
It is a period of civil war and confusion. Rebel responses, striking from bottom of the screen, have won their first victory against the evil Original Post.

During the battle, rebel readers managed to tap the screen and reveal the app’s ultimate weapon, INLINE EXPANSION OF RESPONSES, a new feature with enough power to add context and clarity to the conversation.

Pursued by the Original Post’s author, Princess Responder races into the discussion aboard her starship, creating a thread in the response list that can save her people and restore freedom and order to the galaxy….

New features:
- Expanded inline responses
- Bundled response conversations
- Tappable recommend and response counts
- Consistent navigation bars


The one where we told three truths and a lie.

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Three Truths and a Lie

Enabled Landscape Mode
Landscape mode is now available on your Apple iPad tablet device for both reading and writing. Rotate your iPad 90 degrees to enjoy this new display experience.

Enabled Share Draft Mode
Go to your drafts folder and swipe in a left-handed direction to reveal the share button. Utilize that button to access options to share your draft with friends and loved ones.

Enabled Fax Mode
To respond to a story, simply fax your response to 855–672–1919 and we will electronically type it up and post it to the appropriate article. Be sure to include a cover sheet with the URL of the post you are responding to, your name, and your fax number (in case the author wants to reply to your response). …


The one where we told a “guy walks into a bar” joke.

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A group of Medium features walk into the New Style Bar. The bartender asks “What’ll you have?”

“two beers, two vodka sodas, one white wine, and a cranberry juice,” says Italic.

“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” says the bartender. “I have a hard time with lists.”

“Oh don’t worry. Lists is having the juice, so there won’t be any trouble.”

“Look wise guy,” said the Bartender. “I have one rule in this bar. No unpredictable behavior.”

“No no, Horizontal Rule is completely predictable. …


The one where we did a jumble.

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JUMBLE
Unscramble these four jumbles to form four ordinary words. Then use the circled letters to find the surprise answer to this question:
Good app engineering is 5% innovation, 25% determination, and 70% ______________.

SSNEIBUS
OO_ _ _ _ _ _

RIFEGAF
O_ _ _ O_ _

XIPLE
_ OO_ _

SESYA
OO_ _ _

Answer:
OOO OOOOO

Oh, and due to popular demand we have moved bookmarks into the profile tab for easy breezy access!

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