Predictions for 2019

As my predictions for last year just scraped the bare minimum you might expect for a pass by calling the easy things correctly, it’s time for me to issue a whole new series of hostages to fortune.

I’m tempted to predict a giant asteroid will doom us all, but we’ll all just be disappointed if I’m wrong, and there’ll be no one left for me to gloat at if I get it right.

Britain:

  1. There will be an extension to Article 50 meaning the UK does not exit the EU at the end of March. This will come about through a complicated diplomatic dance where the EU27 are seen to offer an extension to the UK, rather than the UK requesting one.
  2. There will be at least one more general election, leading to a result that’s as similarly inconclusive as 2017's.
  3. There won’t be any changes in party structures or meaningful new parties announced until after that general election happens.
  4. Neither Theresa May nor Jeremy Corbyn will be Prime Minister at the end of the year.

World:

  1. Macron will remain generally unpopular in France, but the gilets jaunes will have faded away and be remembered as just another protest movement.
  2. Merkel will still be Chancellor of Germany at the end of the year, though by that point the Greens will be regularly topping the opinion polls there.
  3. Trump will be still be in office and (diminishing) power, and will have at least one declared serious challenger for the Republican nomination for 2020.
  4. There’ll be no clarity on who the Democratic candidate will be, but at least three candidates will have dropped out or decided not to run after leading or being near to the top of the polls.
  5. There’ll be a lot of pieces from people who’ve never been south of the equator about how the Australian election results proves they’re right about what British politicians should do.

Sport:

  1. Liverpool will win the Premier League relatively easily. Wolves will come seventh, but not make it into Europe because a team from outside the top six will win the FA Cup.
  2. A French rider will win the Tour de France, and with that, Liverpool and a British player winning at Wimbledon all gone, sports writers will be grasping around for a long-running winless streak to talk about.
  3. Team Sky will get a new sponsor that’s going to make ten years of Murdoch money look like a paragon of ethical sponsorship.
  4. England’s male cricketers and female footballers will get to their World Cup finals, and lose. The male footballers will win the Nations League, making ‘why the Nations League is much harder to win than the World Cup’ a pub sports bore topic of conversation for many years to come.
  5. I’ll complete the London Marathon in under six hours. You’ll all get sick of me posting links to sponsor me long before I get tired of posting them.

Media:

  1. Avengers: Endgame will conclude with some form of multiverse being established, probably with a reference to/appearance by the X-Men.
  2. Another major national UK newspaper will cease producing a print edition.
  3. Following the election, at least one major party will openly talk about abolishing/majorly reforming the BBC.
  4. Black Mirror will have an episode that goes out in different versions to different people, but Charlie Brooker et al will spend several weeks denying this is the case.

Let’s see if I scrape the 50% bar this time…