The Little Donny

perfect illustration by Jen Lewis

It’s Thursday morning and Donald Trump is staring out a window in the Oval Office. He’s alone. His mind trails off to campaign days and the friends he’d made and the fires they set for him. He misses them. He wishes he just could go back. A piano begins to play.

Maybe they’re right…
Maybe there is something the matter with me…
I just don’t see how a world with such wonderful hate slurs could be bad…

Look at this deal
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think that my job here’s complete?
Isn’t my hair just a squirrel?
A squirrel who has everything?

Look at this house
morons untold
How many gold drapes can curtain rods hold?
Looking around, here, you’d think
Sure, he is very smart and he is definitely the king of everything…

I’ve got retweets and uppers a plenty,
I’ve got riots and Big Macs galore
You want scandals?
I’ve got twenty!

But who cares?
No big deal
I feel poor…

I want to be where my sheeple are
I want to see, want to see them yellin’

Walking around in those, what do you call ‘em?
Oh, malls!

Flappin’ your lips, you don’t get too far
Friends are required for riots, more yelling
Forgetting about the, what’s the word again?
oh yeah — lawww

Out where they shout, Out where they shun
Out where they ruin everything fair and funnn

Be friends with me, wish I could be
Part of your world

What would I say 
if I could eat 
inside a DQ?

What would I tweet 
if I could drink 
beer from a can?

Betcha farm land is more than just land, 
betcha it’s really important nice land.
I want interests…
What is Pinterest?
Ready to stannn-

-Aaand ready to know what my voters know
Ask ’em my questions and get some alt facts
What’s a bribe and why does it, what’s the word?
Earn?

When’s it my turn?
Wouldn’t I love 
love to explore a world I know nothing of?

Give me a key
One day I’ll be
Part of your world…

Donald, now naked and wrapped in golden drapes, turns to see Steve Bannon standing in the doorway. Like a sea witch reaching out to her next victim, Bannon extends an open hand. He asks, “do we got a deal?”