Vote from your Best Self

The dialogue has gotten so awful, so violent, so disrespectful, so filled with lies or half truths, so beyond the pale that it is turning off even civically engaged and thoughtful people. It doesn’t matter if you are fundamentally a republican or democrat, this election cycle is unleashing primordial ooze. And that makes it dangerous in ways that will last long after we know who our next President is.

If you are like me, I am watching less and less news on TV and reading only those online sources that I deem rational and objective. I can’t stand the surrogates twisting themselves into crazy talk to justify their pay checks. Nor can I stand the righteous indignation spoken from all corners. I crave the truth and sanity. Truth may be very difficult to get to so I am focusing my attention on sanity. (That’s my default after years as a therapist!)

Can we take the partisanship out of all the noise and listen to our inner selves? Can we set aside our strong opinions on this policy or that and get down to basics? Can we think more about how we want to look back on this moment and consider what we individually want to stand for? Can we focus on our shared human being-ness whether we live in a mixed or homogeneous existence? Can we rise above the chaos, fear, disappointment and anger and find that still place inside of each of us?

I try to think about my values, my core sense of self and who I want to be as I walk through this world. I focus on my kind and compassionate essence that comes through most of my interactions. I have deep empathy for others, especially those that are different than me and those that are more challenging to relate to. I think about being smart instead of reactive; trying to learn as much as I can about complex issues that I don’t fully understand. I see the world in shades of gray and nuance rather than stark black or white. I assume that most people wake up each morning and try to be good and productive with their loved ones and in their work. I believe that there are loads more well intentioned and sane people who mean no harm than there are lunatics. I try to listen to what is underneath high anxiety fears that cause people to lash out in hateful ways. I try to remember what my father taught me: live life full of love. I also pay attention to what I learned from my mother: living life full of rage cuts you off from deep and loving connections that make life so rich.

Of course I have strong political beliefs and I’m not shy about expressing them. I, too, have had moments of flashpoint anger and ranting and raving in the past months. I agree, don’t agree, feel disappointed or inspired or just plain sad and depressed. I’m upset about all kinds of issues and I’m not thrilled with the ideas of the candidates and less thrilled with the crazy talk that erupts between pundits and citizens alike.

Lately I crave that quiet space in the pit of me that whispers, “Shush. Breath.” From that core I ask a simple question, “Which candidate shares my values as a human being? Which person has compassion, tries to do good with and for others and has the capacity to empathize with people who are different?” Forget the specific policies or deep character flaws. Forget the self serving nature of anyone running for the presidency. Which person speaks to my sense of sanity, if not truth? Which person will allow me to look in the mirror and say, “I picked a person that reflects me in some small way. I can live with this decision.”

So I am choosing to turn off the volume and pay attention to my own inner voice. I am setting my emotions and reactivity aside and bringing it down to a very human level. I am looking into my own heart and choosing someone who I see as having a heart I can recognize. I hope you will too. Otherwise we all risk being forever sucked into the ooze and that can’t end well.