Eating trash at the gas station

After a full day of work yesterday, I had to stop at the gas station on my route home to get gas because the gauge in my car was telling me that if I didn’t, I would have to walk approximately 8 miles of the trip home.

It was hot yesterday, so that really didn’t sound too appealing.

Peripheral view was perplexing

As I stood at the pump preparing to select my fuel grade after entering payment information, someone caught my eye.

A gentlemen wearing winter clothing, clearly not financially blessed, was digging through the trash can at the opposite end of the lane of pumps I selected.

“If he is still down there when my pump stops, I’m going to go down and offer to buy him something to eat”, I thought to myself.

Here he comes

I didn’t have to wait for the pump to finish. My gas was still pumping as the gentleman wearing holy jeans, a winter coat, and carrying a plastic grocery bag made his way to the trash can next to me.

“Sir.. Can I buy you a hot dog or something?” He declined very politely.

“Are you sure?” I said in disbelief as he rummaged through the trash can literally pulling out a box with remains of what was once fried chicken wings from Popeye’s Chicken. He ate what he could off the scraps inside the box.

What the hell. There was nothing left on the bones.

“No, ma’am” he said.

I was totally confused.

I watched as he pulled yet another food container out of the trash. This one was a Styrofoam container which had what looked like some sort of comfort food remains. I believe it was the juices of collard greens and nearly a full biscuit which he quickly placed in his pocket; almost as though someone may steal it from him.

One last chance

The gas was finally done pumping and I had to give it another shot.

“Sir, are you sure that I can’t buy you something to eat or drink?”

“No, but thank you ma’am. Have a nice day” and he took off down the sidewalk.

I still can’t understand

I think I did what I should have.. right? I offered three times and he declined each time.

What could I have done differently? Should I carry packaged foods in my car with me for these types of scenarios? Maybe granola bars or something similar? Maybe a case of bottles of water?

I don’t know…

What I do know

My family and I are abundantly blessed with an amazingly full life. I look back at my Instagram account to remind myself just how blessed I am to have what I have, including the opportunity to experience everything that I do.

My life isn’t what it is because it was given to me though. I’ve worked my butt off to learn what I know and to overcome barriers that held me back mentally in the past.

I was a teen mom. I don’t have a college degree. I’ve been divorced twice. I’ve lost a house. I’ve lost my mom. All these things have gotten the best of my confidence at one point or another in my life.

What I do have is a huge heart. I have the tenacity and courage to keep pushing and be the greatest me that I can be.. whomever that may be. I’m not done yet.

I have faith in people. I want to help. I want to see others succeed and I like to offer what I have learned throughout my career to help others achieve what they are aiming for in whatever way I can.

And darn it… I wish that I knew how to help that man.