The Rauschmonstrum & Jesus In The Garden of Gethsemane

This post originally appears as a chapter in my book The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum.

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he became deeply distressed and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, to the point of death. Stay here, and watch for me.”

He went forward a little, fell on his face, and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup of suffering pass away from me; nevertheless, not what I desire, but what you desire.”

The Rauschmonstrum, in the form of an angel, appeared to him. This strengthened Jesus, and being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

The Rauschmonstrum could not believe the agony the Nazarene was putting himself through over a fantasy he had fabricated about his own destiny. It was at this point that the Rauschmonstrum had doubts about his own mission, and considered ending all this and letting Jesus be. “Perhaps what I am doing is too much? Perhaps the life of Nazarene has shown there is more good about the human race than I thought possible before?”

However, after thinking this through the Rauschmonstrum realized things had gone along too far to simply stop now. He must finish what he had begun, and regardless of the endpoint of this adventure, he could always use his experiences with the Nazarene to influence humanity in further ways down the road.

When Jesus rose from prayer, He came to the disciples and found them sleeping. He said to Peter, “Were you not able to keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray that you don’t enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Again, a second time he went away, and prayed, saying, — “My Father, if this cup cannot pass away unless I drink it, your desire be done.”

He came again and found the disciples still sleeping. He left them and went away to pray for a third time.

It was then that the Rauschmonstrum appeared before Jesus in his true form for the first time.

Jesus’ eyes were closed, praying, and thus he did not notice the Rauschmonstrum for some time. When, he finally did notice the Rauschmonstrum, even then he did not so much as glance at him.

“Do you know who I am?” asked the Rauschmonstrum.

“Yes, you are the serpent, come to tempt me away from facing my fate. Be gone with you!”

The Rauschmonstrum laughed.

“ You think I am Satan? I am not Satan.”

“Of course you are Satan, for who else may you be? For I know you are no angel.”

“Quite right…no angel. Certainly not the angel who appeared to you right here…when you were praying before?”

With that said, the Rauschmonstrum transformed in front of Jesus into the same angel he had appeared as before. He then returned right back to his natural form.

It was clear Jesus was disturbed by how the Rauschmonstrum was able to take the form of the angel and return to his natural form so quickly. Yet, he did not respond, and instead went back to his prayer.

The Rauschmonstrum continued, “Do you remember all the blind you made see, the lame you made walk, and all the others you cured of disease?”

“Yes. Have you come here to mock me for my aid to the downtrodden?

The Rauschmonstrum did not answer, instead continuing his line of questioning.

“Do you remember the time you exorcised the legion of demons from that man in Gerasenes? The demons went from the man into the bodies of some pigs, which then rushed into a lake and drowned.”

“During my ministry I have done many things, and the exorcism of the man from Gerasenes is one of them, yes. But of what use is that to you now, Deceiver?”

“Do you remember feeding the multitude of five thousand with the five loaves and two fish?

“I have fed many.”

“And do you remember reviving Lazarus from the dead?”


“You were reluctant to raise Lazarus, weren’t you?”

“I would have preferred it if Lazarus had not died, and I had not needed to raise him.”

“What if I told you,” said the Rauschmonstrum, “that all those miracles you performed were actually my doing, and all of your feats were able to happen only because I wanted them to happen, to spite your foolishness, and the foolishness of the human race.”

Jesus returned to silent prayer for a period of time before answering the Rauschmonstrum. “When I was a boy… I suspected my design was different than that of other people. I became sure of it the day I was baptized in the Jordan by John. The heavens opened up and the voice of God shouted down upon me ‘this is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased.’”

“And if I told you that it was I who made that voice?”

“No, that is not true. That is impossible!”

“If there is any truth at all, it is that you are no Messiah. But no worries, you will find all that out soon enough. Judas will be returning shortly.” The Rauschmonstrum then vanished.

Jesus spent some more time praying. Then he returned to his disciples and said, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

This chapter can also be found on my blog

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