The Rauschmonstrum Tempts Jesus In the Form of Satan

This originally appeared as a chapter within my book The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum.

The Rauschmonstrum needed to be sure that Jesus would not waver from his belief in God, nor his moral behavior. And so, he decided to test him.

When Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit (or so he thought), returned from the Jordan, the Rauschmonstrum lead him into the wilderness for forty days and forty nights. Jesus ate nothing during those forty days and nights, and when they were ended, he was hungry. The Rauschmonstrum then appeared to him in the form of what he figured the Devil should look like (The horns, the hooves, the pitchfork, and everything else).

He said to him, “If you are the Son of God, order this stone to become bread.” And Jesus answered him, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone.’”

In response, the Rauschmonstrum, in the form of Devil, took him up and showed him all the kingdoms of the world in a moment of time, and said to him, “To you I will give all this power and glory, for it has been kept in my care, and I give it to whom I will. If you will worship me, then it will all be yours.” And Jesus answered him, “It is written,

“‘You shall worship the Lord God,
 and only him shall you serve.’”

And so the Rauschmonstrum took Jesus to Jerusalem and placed him on the apex of the temple and said to him, “If you are truly the Son of God, throw yourself down from here, for as it is written in the scriptures of old,

“‘He will order his angels in charge of you,
 to guard you,’ and

“‘With their might they will bear you up,
 lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”

To this Jesus answered him, “It is said, ‘You will not put the Lord your God to the test.’” And when the Rauschmonstrum had ended every temptation, he departed from Jesus until an opportune time.

“His faith is strong. His work may escalate now.”

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