The Rauschmonstrum Watches Jesus With the Woman Who Committed Adultery

This post originally appears as a chapter in my book The Gospel of the Rauschmonstrum.

Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Now very early in the morning, he came again into the temple, and all the people came to him. He sat down, and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman taken in adultery. Having set her in the middle, they told him, “Teacher, we found this woman in adultery, in the very act. Now in our law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. What then do you say about her?” They said this testing him, that they might have something to accuse him of.

Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with his finger. When they continued asking him, he looked up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her.”Again he stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground.

The Pharisees, thinking about what he said, became convicted by their conscience, and went out from the temple one by one.

Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle. Jesus, standing up, saw her and said, “Woman, where are your accusers? Did no one condemn you?”

She said, “No one, Lord.”

Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way. From now on, sin no more.”

The woman left. The Rauschmonstrum was very pleased with how Jesus had handled the situation, knowing that the Pharisees had been trying to bait the Nazarene into saying something they’d be able to charge him with blasphemy over.

The Rauschmonstrum was also pleased because he thought it astoundingly cruel for adultery to be punishable by death, and he was dumbfounded over how most of the world put such rigid restrictions on sexual behavior. “If this Nazarene’s teachings really do last for millennia,” he thought, “I hope permissive sexuality is a central tenant.”

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