Holy Sh*t I am going to be a Dad!
Throughout my life I have had a consistent habit of writing after serious life experiences. I have never been great at coping with loss, heartbreak, or anything emotional. For some reason I would pick up a pen and put my thoughts and feelings down on paper. I never understood why I did this because I never considered myself a talented writer considering my grades in my English classes growing up were mediocre at best. It is just something that I feel I was born with and is my own form of meditation. I also found that as much as writing was a coping mechanism for me during negative situations, it was also one of the most enjoyable things to do after positive experiences. I have always had a terrible memory so I knew that writing things down was a great way for me to remember those happy and important times.
This past year I discovered that I would be having a child and the first thing that I did was, you guessed it, write about how I felt about this life changing moment. My head was spinning and there was so much that I wished to learn about parenting as soon as possible. My wife found it hilarious but interesting how much I began to read and research about children and childbirth. I have always been the type to plan and organize every single event in our lives. As I was engulfing myself in reading and writing about my experiences she sat with me to discuss how we both felt about becoming parents. What we both agreed on was that we had learned a lot from our parents and life experiences and we should do our best to pass on what we learned growing up to our own children. She suggested that I write to my new born child (At this time we had no idea what the gender would be) and write to him or her to express myself. This idea did not only grab my attention, it sparked a new interest in my life that I never thought possible. Me, the guy with the terrible memory was going to write a bunch of notes to his kid about all that I remember. Well, challenge accepted.
I threw myself into this project with my immediate focus on writing one letter to my child every week for the rest of the pregnancy. My goal was to provide at least one to three valuable traits, characteristics, or morals each week with life experiences and personal stories to support them. I knew that writing to my child about what I held most valuable and important in my life could only be done if I emerged myself in my writing as personally as I could. Before I knew it, I had 27 weeks worth of letters and a “Manifesto” of my most personal life experiences as well as messages for my child. The writing was the most consistent and serious committment I have ever made in my life other than my marriage. Having my passion for writing and love of my wife and future child behind it made the words just flow. Those 27 weeks flew by and made me feel even older after consolidating 27 years of life experiences into 27 letters.
What do I hope to gain from this?
My sole goal of writing these letters was to pass on as much valuable information to my child through my own life experiences. When I discovered that I was going to be a father I had so many thoughts and feelings rushing through my head but the one that stuck was, “What do I need to do to not mess this up?” I wanted to be the best father that I could be and I started to think of all of the most important things in my life and what my core values and life morals were that I was committed to. Writing just seemed like the perfect answer.
As I began to write more and more, I was also reading a ton of motivational self help books. While reading all of these books about how to help myself reach success, I noticed how I was not alone. These books were created for people who felt just like I did. They wished to better themselves and become the best versions of themselves that they could be. The number one thing I discovered was that I wanted to be the best father that I could be. My letters were a “Self Help” guide to help me remember the life lessons and core values that I wanted my child to develop. When I came to this conclusion my first thought was, “Why can’t I use my writing as a guide for other “Soon-to-be” fathers struggling to find ways of helping their children become the best versions of themselves?”.
So, what I hope to gain from this writing is to help as many people as I possibly can. Even if only two or three people read my writing and use it as a guide, I have made an impact. My goal is to leave a legacy for my children. Something that they cannot only learn from me forever but remember me at a more personal level than they ever could have if not for my writing. I have dedicated my entire life to helping others and have always put my family first. Hopefully my children will learn from this and use my work to help themselves as well as others.
