Puccino’s have always done this nicely, with a sort of offhand disdain to their best stuff – there used to be a poster on the side of their coffee hut at Twyford station that said ‘free crying wooden freakoid with your millionth coffee’, at the time when collecting your little stamps for a free coffee was a noteworthy thing. And their advertisement for franchises used to start: ‘hi, I’m Luigi, the fictional owner of Puccino’s coffee…’

Also, the basic Amsterdam hostel Hans Brinker glory in their shit service. Google their posters. Ace. (‘It can’t get any worse… but we’ll do our best.’)