POSTCARDS FROM THE MATRIX.

The future is yesterday’s tommorrow’s last night’s pizza porno death wish.

THE TRUE TEST OF SINGLE-POINTED CONCENTRATION IS TO GO INTO A SUPERMARKET AND GET WHAT YOU CAME IN TO GET.

Sometimes I 
 wonder 
 how much of my 
 fucking life 
 has been 
 wasted 
 in supermarkets
 staring at things 
 I don’t 
 need
 forgetting that I 
 exist.

The colours of 
 the packaging 
 are so 
 bright
 they erase my
 memories
 I have to 
 look at the
 tattoo on my
 forehead
 in the mirror
 and read it
 backwards
 to remember
 my name.

Can’t recall 
 why I’m 
 here
 came to this 
 realm
 for some reason
 but now I’m 
 staring
 at sixteen shelves of 
 shower foam
 made from things
 you usually eat for
 desert.

Asking deep 
 philosophical 
 questions like,
 ‘Do I really 
 need 
 coconut berry 
 pomegranate 
 almond milk ice 
 cream cacao 
 butter mint
 to rub all 
 over my 
 balls?’

Forget who I
 am 
 staring 
 at six aisles 
 of different kinds of 
 bread
 consumer 
 choice is a 
 prison 
 we all do 
 time for 
 crimes 
 we are 
 innocent 
 of.

The 
 ingredients 
 on the 
 back 
 read like 
 chemical 
 warfare 
 looking at the 
 faces of the other 
 people around
 me 
 I think about 
 the sixth mass 
 extinction.
 
 ‘Where do I find 
 a rich inner life?’
 I ask the 
 shop assistant.
 ‘Aisle 3’ 
 ‘What about a solution 
 to climate change?’
 ‘Rope is in Aisle 8’
 ‘Redemption?’
 ‘We don’t stock that 
 anymore’ 
 I don’t blame 
 them you cannot
 recover what
 was never 
 lost to begin with
 I think as I stare
 at cheese
 at salvation.

Blue vein
 gruyere, 
 gouda,
 neufchatel 
 brie…
 The smell of
 fermented milk 
 brings me back to
 childhood
 suckling
 on the breast of
 mother angel, 
 eyes wide as a
 windless
 lake.

I inhale
 deeply
 whole 
 eons 
 pass by
 and I
 remember
 why
 I came
 to this
 place.
 
 Toilet 
 paper.
 
 To
 wipe
 away
 the 
 dirt.

TRYING TO SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH THE FOLKS
 

 Trying to spend quality time 
 with the folks
 but they like to watch TV 
 and I don’t
 so I just sit there 
 trying to be 
 with them
 enduring the pain 
 I feel under the 
 electromagnetic particle waves of shit
 from the screen
 that splash 
 onto my face.

While they watch a Chinese dating show
 I entertain racist thoughts
 while they watch a show about home renovation
 I entertain sadistic thoughts
 while I watch an American talent show
 I entertain apocalyptic thoughts
 ‘Here, why don’t you watch something?’
 mum says, handing me the control
 I spend more time trying to find something
 than actually watching anything
 what I’m looking for doesn’t exist on here
 what I’m looking for are moments
 of my life that I will never get back
 that I wasted watching this screen.

As I watch them watch TV
 I become aware of how much 
 murder there is on television 
 these days imaginary 
 people killing imaginary 
 people and having 
 to face the imaginary 
 consequences it’s 
 purgatory in that box 
 I send imaginary
 prayers for all the imaginary
 people suffering inside 
 of it.

My parent’s don’t like the 
 sound on the TV I asked them why 
 they told me it was too loud 
 so they turn the sound off
 and we sit there 
 watching these imaginary 
 people getting murdered
 together 
 in silence
 not really knowing why
 any of this is happening
 as if it’s a series of 
 random imaginary
 acts of existential terror
 a series of silent 
 disconnected scenes
 that end in a knife 
 through someone’s neck
 somewhere in Scandinavia.

Then we go to sleep.

LET’S NOT BE FRIENDS.
 

 To anyone 
 reading this 
 NEVER 
 say that line 
 ‘Let’s be friends’ 
 to anyone 
 ever 
 I know you 
 mean well
 but it’s a 
 meaningless 
 hack cliché 
 and no 
 I don’t want 
 to be your friend 
 (At least not yet)
 it’s nothing personal 
 it’s just that after 
 associating feelings of 
 heartbreak 
 loss 
 and 
 dream death 
 with your image 
 in my brain, 
 I imagine going 
 Tuesday night 
 bumper bowling 
 might be a rather 
 strained affair. 
 
 Boohoohoo.

GENDER POLITICS IN THE RAIN

Camping, 
 I watched a lady 
 chop wood 
 in the rain,
 struggling.

I thought maybe 
 I should help her.
 
 Then I thought 
 she would see me 
 as a male chauvinist
 who saw her as a 
 helpless 
 victim of society,
 not as someone 
 who happened to be 
 a male
 who just wanted to 
 help someone 
 who perhaps
 might want 
 some help
 who happened to be 
 a female. 
 
 So I just kept 
 watching her 
 chop wood 
 in the rain,
 struggling.

GET THE FUCK OFF FACEBOOK YOU TWAT.
 

 So many problems in the world makes me want to fucking puke my guts out
 in disgust in despair in love in hope
 where do you begin? 
 With Yourself
 
speaks a corporate yogi type 
 beaming imperilously at me 
 with a beatific smile
 from the comfort of his website 
 inside my mind 
 that hawks his books
 if self help books worked 
 then there wouldn’t be so many on my bookshelf
 staring back at me like abandoned children
 god give me the strength to punch the smugness 
 out of his shit-eating grin implant
 maybe then the world will be a better place
 maybe he’s right 
 maybe I need to work on my anger
 my facebook feed is filled with inspirational quotes and messages
 from people I don’t know
 that have the opposite effect on me
 but it’s my fault
 I was the one on facebook
 
 So many problems in the world makes me want to fucking puke my guts out
 in anger in fear in hope in love
 where do you begin?
 With others
 
speaks the ghost of your inner higher self child spirit animal guide
 fuck that guys annoying too
 someone give him a hug and a lollypop already 
 and make him shut up
 nag nag nag
 do this do that
 don’t do this don’t do
 frickin goody two shoes
 the self is not a unified thing
 it is a parliament of corrupt politicians 
 in a wartorn country
 dickswinging over power and desire
 sometimes I hear so many voices in my head 
 I understand why democracy is 
 not possible.

Today a little finch flew into the window and knocked itself out cold
 the feathers were like fern leaves
 I blew the breath of love onto it in my hand 
 it’s bewilderment reminded me of the innocence
 I need to leave myself behind to recapture.
 
 So many problems in the world makes me want to fucking puke my guts out
 In love in hope in I don’t even give a shit anymore
 where do you begin?
 Probably by getting off facebook you twat.

WATCH YOUR BACK JEDI, DON’T GO ALL VADER ON YO’ ASS.
 

 Note to self,
 there are many traps
 power corrupts
 swells the head 
 like a blocked toilet 
 full of shit.

You might be a channel 
 for God 
 but watch your ego 
 doesn’t turn it into 
 a open sewer 
 youtube channel
 full of crap.
 
 Surrounding yourself 
 with Yes men is seductive 
 but be wary of continuous 
 compliments for the emperor
 wears no clothes and sooner or
 later he will start 
 waving his dick
 at children in the street
 because everyone 
 was too afraid 
 to tell him that 
 he was a total 
 wanker 
 from the beginning.
 
 Be wary not of the darkness 
 that descends suddenly
 but that which creeps in gradually
 little by little over time
 so slowly you don’t even
 realise what is happening
 until it is too late and you 
 are a massive 
 arsehole.
 
 Absolute control breeds absolute chaos
 Absolute chaos leads to fascism
 remember why you are doing this
 the best protection is altruistic intentions
 but beware of the ‘I don’t have an ego’ ego.
 that guy’s an annoying self righteous 
 fuckwit
 too.

Watch your back Jedi
 don’t go all Vader on yo’ ass
 you want to create a monster,
 run a lot of power through 
 an unclean system
 watch the light get lighter 
 and the dark, darker
 and never, ever 
 never forget 
 that at the end of the day
 you still have to squat 
 over a bowl and 
 take a 
 crap 
 just 
 like 
 the 
 rest 
 of us
 filthy 
 monk
 keys.