Letters from the Darkness 2: Message in a Bottle

January 22, 2018 / Bethesda, MD

This is the second in a series in which I’m sharing some older writings that were brought forth from my darkness. You can find the first here.

A short introduction to today’s post

*To hear my words in my voice, listen along via soundcloud above *

I stared at the screen
again
again
again
I lost myself in it
this virtual world

I tripped
and fell
plummeting
into the darkness

I fell for so long
I could no longer tell
I was falling

I thought I was flying

no control
chaos
endless

falling?
flying!

superman
look at me
I’m a hero
here
inside
this black hole

this rectangular prison
a prism
skewing my vision
can’t see outside
nothing else exists
my body disappears
my mind alone
in here

consciousness
chattering away
cacophony
of frenzied thoughts
imaginations
machinations
of my own
inner world

I’m a hero
flying through space
in a vortex
an unstoppable pace
timeless
whirling
through the infinite

addiction
addiction
to this feeling

what could be better?

I’m Peter Pan
king of neverland
my own magical world
think happy thoughts
and turn your free fall
into flight

mental jujitsu
can’t handle the truth?
just lie to yourself
nestle comfortably
into an echo chamber
of one

neverland
makes you forget
but honestly
who wants to remember
reality?

look at me
listen please
I know what I’m doing
I’m flying with ease

can you see me?

a lost boy
adventuring
in neverland
lost
in my mind
pretending my way through

fake life
manifestations
of consciousness
an avatar

truth?
reality?

who knows
not me
I’m not here
I’m nowhere
nothing exists
nothing
here
now
this
then
space
time
magic

knowledge
understanding
expression
connection

I can’t

see
hear
feel
anyone
anything

connection?

too late
this suffering
too sweet

it’s home

fortress of solitude
enveloped by shadows
embrace the loneliness
accept the nothingness
disappear
into the void

falling
flying
addicted
afflicted
connected
rejected

communicating
ruminating

words
disembodied spirits
metaphors
stories
totems
visions of deities
long dead
thought dead?
cries for help
abstractions
swimming
through outer space
unprotected

how long
since I’ve inhaled?
how long
have I held my breath?
neglecting my poor lungs
getting high
off near-death experience

i couldn’t say
a minute
a second
a year
a lifetime

here
now
all there is

falling
flying

write
speak
type
think

a message
in a bottle
thrown
into the vast ocean

an infinitely unlikely
cry for help
for connection
from my stranded desert isle

will it wash up on your shore?
on your
lonely isle?

i need more litter
more fodder
for my desperate attempts
to connect

please
throw more bottles away
just in case
one happens
to float
my way

“Message in a Bottle” by luisar, licensed under CC BY 2.0

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