I don’t understand the point of this article. You are criticising the very people who are your supporters as being basically lazy and uncaring for what, being pro-active and caring. Yes this safety pin thing is just a symbol. But behind the symbol is a person willing to offer aid and assistance. It is subtle but potentially powerful. You have no reason to assume it’s a short cut or a “get out of responsibility free” card. Identifying with oppressed people when you look like an oppressor is not easy at any level. So why are you criticising the “choir” for the wrongs of the bigots and haters.
Just like the BLM leadership that decided to Mau-Mau Bernie Sanders, and thereby showing just how ignorant they were of our (our meaning black and white together’s) shared history of actively engaging against racial bigotry, I think you could use your skills addressing these issues head on rather than alienating your friends.