Cinderella
Welcome to London — Episode 15
West Hampstead. Friday. 11.30pm. I stare at the TV in excited thrill. The spoon with ice cream hovering half an inch away from my open mouth.
“Yes!” I cheer and catapult the ice cream against the wall across the room when my arms fly up in the air in a celebration dance.
I knew the hero of the film would arrive just in time to prevent the love of his life making the biggest mistake of her life, so they can live happily ever after. Well, obviously I knew it, as this is how those sort of films end. There might be a sudden diagnose of cancer, an evil twin sister or a mean boss be involved, but eventually, all turns around.
I sigh and finish the rest of my ice cream, while they wrap up with a glorious scene with fireworks and a lot of close-ups to Mr charming and his gorgeous bride to be kissing and hugging happily.
What they don’t show is how they master their whole life together now, where they fight over who is doing the grocery and if they spend Christmas with aunt Jeanette. But of course, they found the one and everything will be smooth until death does them apart.
If just everything was as easy as they made it look like.
With a feeling of annoyance and frustration bubbling up deep inside me I fall back into the pile of pillows just behind me and look into my empty ice cream with regret.
Did it ever happen to you, that the new guy in high school magically walked over to you, and you alone, to be your perfect boyfriend? Did you meet the handsome stranger on the bus, who took the seat next to you and invited you for a coffee out of the blue?
I must have missed the bus that day, because — well, surprise — that did never happen to me either. Or any person I know.
As much as I like watching those trash movies from time to time, they always leave me behind with this loneliness.
And I pity myself for not being that pretty girl, appearing on the top of the staircase and everyone in the room turns around. I think about my skinny friend who has three guys chasing after her at any point in time or my flatmate who has this perfect skin, where I apply a layer of make-up every morning.
On the other hand, I do sit here, finishing an entire pot of ice cream, where my friend is in bed by now, because she is tired after two hours in the gym. Who has a better life in the long run?
Anyway, I should rather compare myself to the waitress in pub around the corner with the lady-moustache and consider that even the girl from the gym with the terrible stutter has a boyfriend.
Undoubtedly the taste of guys is as different as there are women in this world. It just seems to be so hard to find the one.
The one, I laugh to myself. If there was only one beyond 7 billion, he would be particularly hard to find … Surely there are plenty of guys just right for me, somewhere.
In these moments there seem to be an obvious and easy solution. I am eyeballing my phone. Of course, there is Tinder installed. Don’t judge me!
A boyfriend on demand. Plenty of handsome men who are looking for someone special, just like you look out for them. Why not? We don’t hesitate to order a Pizza online, why shouldn’t we try the same approach to meet people?
To everyone for whom this worked out: Congratulations. I know some people myself who did find someone just as easy as that — it didn’t even take them long …
But for me, it does not seem to work. Maybe I am just not falling in love that easy or I am too picky or I am a lost romantic who need more of a spark, than a cute opening line to tell their grandchildren about.
The men I met were not even that bad, I was just not excited enough for a second date and in the end, it was nothing but a waste of time. So I might as well spend the time finding someone the old fashion way.
Although, this someone obviously will not magically knock at my door. So, ladies, we’ll have to leave the house.
And I am not talking about partying on Saturday night. God knows I am all about a good night out, but true love is hardly found on the dance floor. I don’t blame anyone to look for some fun, but careful what you’re wishing.
A bit of fun might actually result in a lot of disappointment and everything is worse than before. Personally, I lost the believe that genuine guys are going out on Saturday in a whole — although my friend would slap me for that comment. Sure, see what happens, a one-night-stand would definitely be a story for your grandchildren (maybe when they are a bit older, though).
After all, I am still a believer. I still believe that I am worth loving.
To all the idiots who thought they could treat me however they like: I deserve better than you!
To all the Prince Charmings who didn’t even look twice at me: It is your loss!
I toss a tear off my cheek in anger and wrap my fluffy blanket even faster around me.
Sometimes I just get frustrated with society itself. People who think they can do whatever they want and get everything they want, whenever they want it.
People who prefer to order girls and guys from the catalogue of an app rather than spend some time in public and who don’t put the slightest effort in a conversation as one swipe away is the next opportunity if it does not work out or just gets boring.
Guys who find me too straight forward, when I ask them out for a coffee, but apparently it is alright to text a girl if she fancies a snug as a first message.
Of course, it sucks being the only single at my friend’s wedding in a few months. Of course, it’s hard to watch all the happy couples stroll hand in hand along the Thames while I take myself out for a walk.
I sit on the couch and feel miserable. How pathetic?
Just when my flatmate comes home from her evening shift. I hear her walking up the stairs just before she collapses against the door frame.
“What a day!” She sighs and kicks her shoes off her feet.
“What are you watching?” She comes to the couch and crawls to me under the blanket — a perfectly normal thing to do for her.
“Urgh, what was that?” With unhidden disgust, she shuts down the romance and switches to some comedy. “Let’s watch something realistic! Something fun! I can use it!”
“Yeah. Me, too,” I mumble and offer my mate the leftover of my Doritos.
Watching her hungrily inhaling the junk food after a long day at work makes me smile.
“We have a very good life,” I say and I mean it.
Who cares about all those guys? I have my dignity and I will have to be patient. What a hypocrite I would be, judging the people who are using the apps because they can’t wait to find the right person and not waiting for my turn myself.
Sure it will happen eventually. Gosh, I am 27 — not exactly an old spinster! He will come. When I least expect it. When I truly don’t expect it (not when I pretend not to look, so I meet someone by chance …).
However, I am not giving up and I am everything but pathetic.
Who needs a man who has literally everything: Good friends, a good home and family, flatmates included and a lot to do every day — from work to hobbies. When a boyfriend fits in all of this some time, I’ll be happy. If it takes a while, well, I am enjoying my life in the meantime by every meaning of the word. No time to waste to wait for “the one”. There is too much to experience just by myself and with my friends to miss out!
Now I just have to stand by my word.
To L. — My go-to for any “boys problems”.
Leave a clap for me, if you liked it :)
