How to Declutter Your Mind and Gain More Clarity
One of the biggest challenges I see from the amazing women I work with is lack of clarity. It’s crippling as you just can’t move forward. Day to day you feel confused and don’t know where to focus. You fall victim to overwhelm and become a PRO-crastinator.
How do I know?
Because I’ve been there for many years in my life I was stumbling through life. Just getting through the day was an achievement when my depression was at its height.
Why does this happen?
Many of the women I coach express the same confusion. “I don’t really know what I want”. They feel LOST and CONFUSED … when I ask them what makes the HAPPY or what do they do for THEM … they have no answer.
Years of thinking and providing for the needs of others — partners, children, family, colleagues, clients — means that they very rarely, if ever, have they taken the time to focus and define their own wants and desires. They’ve NEVER stopped and just thought about THEM.
AND often that is the most powerful thing working with me does. Gives time back to them.
It’s a vicious circle they have NO time or energy left for them so they put everything into focusing on others. BUT with that role comes responsibilities and so much to do that makes it feel impossible to then step away and refocus on them.
And then these ladies also start to judge themselves on these many roles rather than just being them.
The wife — do I support my husband and give him what he needs?
The mother — is the children’s PE kit ready and lunch made?
The daughter — can I take mum to her hospital appointment?
All those day to days small taks that take up time and energy.
It’s NOT like that for Usain Bolt….
The analogy I use is that is Usain Bolt running 100 metres. The guy is a 6 time Olympic Champion so he KNOWS his shizzle right?
To do that he’s laser clear on where’s he’s GOING and also WHO he needs to be to win that race. That means he can get there as quickly as possible. He has then 100% focus and narrows his vision to ONLY do what he needs to get to that finishing line as quickly as possible.
What could YOU take from that? For me it’s all about you don’t know how to get to somewhere when you don’t know where it is.
What does Clarity mean?
I love geeking out on words and the meaning behind them.
clearness, as of expression
clearness, as of water
And the history to properly geek out:
c.1300, clarte “brightness,” from Old French clarté “clarity, brightness,”from Latin claritas “brightness, splendor,” also, of sounds, “clearness;”figuratively “celebrity, renown, fame,” from clarare “make clear,” fromclarus “clear” (see clear (adj.)). Modern form is early 15c., perhaps areborrowing from Latin. Meaning “clearness” is from 1610s.
My Nic definition
As you should know by know I like to keep things SIMPLE. So to me clarity comes down to things and ONLY:
1) Knowing WHO you are
Your values, beliefs and truths so you can BE that person EVERY day and show up in the world as the real YOU.
2) Knowing WHAT you want
Where do you want to end your days having done, lived, travelled to, experienced?
Both of these sound so simple YET they are truly a lifetime journey. As we grow and evolve AND our lives flow out what we want will change to and who we are. So it’s a continual evolution to have CLARITY.
For me what I want keeps changing and evolving plus WHO I am but that’s happy adys as I already have a clarity so it’s just tweaking as I go.
Eg my perfect day was to have this white house in the country… I went to see that EXACT house and it wasn’t for me I didn’t FEEL it. Yet also went to see a house next to the beach and that was it. THAT”S what I want. J
BUT I had clarity on where I was starting so was happy to let it change. And the dream is coming J
What does Clarity bring you?
It gives you a clear way forward and means you can show up as YOU everyday. And when life throws rubbish at you can always come back to YOU.
AND also from a neuroscience point of view it sets up our brains for success. Your brain becomes LOCKED in on that dream and sets a path for you to get there. This is called reticular activation it’ll search out the path to get there and opportunities you hadn’t even seen before.
AND also the goal seeking hormone dopamine fires up. It’ll keep you going and going to get you to that goal and where you want.
Clarity I believe brings you:
Peace of mind and acceptance of you and your life
Laser focus and time efficient
More fulfilling you live your purpose
Day to day small steps to what you want
Happiness day to day as you KNOW it’s all moving to what you want
And on the flip side lack of clarity will lead to:
Confusion and a muddle brain
Time wasting and that awful what to do first
Overwhelm and being STUCK
Procrastination and faffing
Judgment and being hard on yourself
Slow progress if any progress
So the BIG question how to get more clarity.
5 Simples Ways to Gain More Clarity in Your Life
You don’t get clear by doing MORE. The days I feel overwhelmed I used to work through and I felt WORSE. Now I take Sam out or STOP and take a day for ME. A confused brain won’t thank you for MORE.
YES I know that’s not always easy or possible but just find 5 minutes to walk or call a friend. You are where you are because you haven’t put YOU first. So it’s time to start.
2) SLOW and breath
Slow DOWN. Don’t take on anything else or say YES to more in your life. Just take a day to DOWN and just be.
Then write a peace of mind list.
What are the categories of things going on in your life right now? Then add one thing to bring some peace of mind to that area.
Also take some time out to sit and breath, meditate or for me I listen to relaxing music.
3) What DON’T you want
If you’re struggling to know what you DO want, look at who you are and what you have in life that you DON’T want.
It’s not always easy to get clear on what you do want when you STUCK in your life and feel LOST so think about what you DON’T want.
4) Know WHO you are
Take time to get to know YOU and I don’t mean knowing you love cheese lol! I mean the DEEP stuff … your values, beliefs and stories.
It’s not EASY work but it’s the most powerful thing you’ll EVER do in your life. For me it’s changed my life completely and I’m now so much more at peace living by my values of LOVE, FREEDOM and COURAGE.
5) Know WHAT you want
Get clear on what you’re living for … what’s your PERFECT day.
A simple exercise of sitting down and really considering your average perfect day .. where are you, who are you with, what are you doing, what is your house like, what’s the weather.
AND who are you in it … what are you saying, thinking, feeling and doing?
In need of some help?
Then click here to book onto the StrongHer Clarity Coaching day. A day to get focused on YOU and make a plan to get clear on being YOU and creating what YOU want.
Are you struggling with clarity in your life? How would you love to spend a day with me near to London finding some…www.eventbrite.co.uk
We only have 5 places left and the cost will go up on 3rd September.