How to make Friends as an International Student in the U.S.

Making friends as an international student can be challenging. It is essential to know that this process takes time. It also varies depending on your personality, expectations, and college.

Photo by Eliott Reyna from Unsplash

I want to offer some tips that may help you, I know my experience, personality and expectations are different from yours, but you might find some of these tips helpful along the way.

First weeks of school.

As an international student, more likely you will have an orientation with the other international students. This week is crucial because when you start making new friends, these few friends you meet during orientation will be part of your friend base during the first weeks of school. They will be your starting point in building relations with other students. Usually, students form groups with people who share similar cultures and values, Hispanics with Hispanics, Asians with Asians, Africans with Africans, etc. During orientation, try to be friends with people you see yourself being friends with, but also be open-minded to meet people different from you, and make an effort to build a friendship with them. Trust me, during college, you might need help from unexpected people, and random people might need help from you. You might be minoring in French and need help from someone from France; Maybe someone from a different country/culture is majoring in the same career as you; Probably you don’t have a car and might need a ride to the supermarket. Maybe you are very good at English, and you can help some of your fellow international students. You never know who you might need or who might need you. Remember, international students, are a minority. You guys need to stick together and help each other. All of you are fighting for the same goal, which is taking advantage of this wonderful opportunity to its full potential.

Adapting to a new social culture.

Relating with people from a different culture can be a big challenge. I know that connecting with people from entirely different cultural backgrounds is a struggle at the beginning. I hope some of these tips might help you.

1. Do some research on the university you want to apply to. Research about the city/town you are studying, look for information about your college like Athletics, academics, greek life, demographics, etc. It is essential to research your college to know your university’s reputation; you need to see if it is considered a party school, a strict school, a religious school, etc. This information will help you have more realistic expectations from a social and academic standpoint.
2. Learn about the American culture; I had the fortune to travel to the U.S a couple of times before starting college. I also grew up watching American movies, buying American products, and hearing American music. I assume most countries are under a particular type of American influence, so you are likely to have general knowledge of American culture; if not, make sure you do some research about it.
3. Be proud of your culture but realize you are adopting a new one. Coming from a different country doesn’t mean you need to get rid of your values, but don’t expect people to be okay with everything you do. Remember that you are entering a different country and people have other behaviors and values that differ from yours. Find a middle ground where you express your culture, but you are not overstepping the American one.
4. Relate with people from the U.S, as evident as it sounds, many international students tend to form groups with people from the same country or culture and avoid relating with people different from them. In most cases, international students won’t offer you jobs, internships, an invitation to thanksgiving, etc. Americans are the ones who will give you a hand when you graduate, when you stay in college during the summer or Christmas break etc. What is the point of studying abroad if you are not making relations with people from the country you are studying in?
5. Don’t be afraid to talk and express yourself in a new language. Trust me; you will not be the only one with an accent or some language barrier. Americans are used to relating with people from other countries and cultures due to its domestic diversity, so you will not be the first person they hear with an accent or a language barrier. Also, depending on the state you are studying in, people might find your accent and origin attractive; This could help you as a topic of conversation; people who have not experienced a different culture are curious about other people.
6. Go to every party, gathering, event you get invited to. During the first weeks of school, it’s essential to be open to new environments. If you get invited to a party, an organization meeting, a club gathering, go! You might not be a party animal or the most social person, but trust me, there is a space and a group of people for everyone in college. You might meet your people in unexpected places. Also, if you don’t take risks to put yourself out there, no one will know who you are, and it could be hard to make a difference.
7. Use social intelligence. Try to analyze people, listen to them, put yourself in their shoes. Knowing their cultural background will make it easier for you to understand why someone acts the way they do and how you can approach and build a relationship with someone.
8. Take your shot. If you like someone, talk to him/her. If you want to join a social club or an organization, do it; make sure you try different things you are interested in. This way, you will meet like-minded people with similar interests. People in college are less judgmental; The worst thing that could happen is not fitting in a social group, but you won’t fit in anywhere if you don’t try your shot.
9. Expect the unexpected and be willing to do spontaneous things. You will meet a lot of people in unexpected places.

These are some tips I can give from personal experience; I know This varies from person to person, but maybe following one of these tips can help you establish more relationships during your college experience. I also think this information can give some insight to American students on how they can relate and help international students to adapt and make friends.

More content: Challenges as an International Student in the US.