How to pick a person to love

I’ve heard this often enough, but in the past I have subconsciously refused to believe it because it didn’t apply to the person I was with at the time and I desperately needed that relationship validated. Anything other than validation I didn’t have time for. I didn’t want to listen to.

Now I know this to be true: one of the most important qualities to look for in a life-partner: someone who is good to others.

It might seem difficult to make such a quality a top priority because when it comes to relationships and attraction, we crave attention from the one we love. It’s selfish and it's completely natural.

But a person that’s good to others will be good to you your whole life. A person that takes the time out to listen to others and make others feel valued will always do the same for you, the person that they value the most.

Today I was asking my Gran questions about her and my Grampa’s courtship. In between knowing him, she dated another boy for a short time who spoke badly to his mom. She told him off for it eventually and he never spoke to her again. Thankfully and obviously, she ended up with my Grampa who was sweet and gentle and treated other people, including his mom, beautifully.

They were married 55 years and just today she told me that they still had so many more things to do together (he passed away from pancreatic cancer last year June. A story for another day). That’s love. That’s proof of how important kindness is in a partner and how is gives birth to a long and lasting love. A love for a lifetime.

Thanks for teaching me so much, even today, Gimpa. I hope you are sleeping soundly.