Communicate Like a Traveller
Why is talking to strangers sometimes easier than talking to close friends?

There is something magical that happens when you meet a traveller who is embracing the experience — you find that the miles that separate your native countries cease to exist and you are open to discuss the best and worst of not only your countries and politics, but your personalities as well. You seem to have an uncanny ability to get to know the person — and have them know you — better than many people who have known you for years. You are able to bare your soul with all of it’s insecurities to this person. The question is why?
I recently met a Couchsurfer in Cape Town who I had this very experience with. Upon our first meeting, it felt like I was with an old friend, and we freely discussed his thoughts on the nuances of South African society, with all of its layers and idiosyncrasies; relationships and the failures we have had; our dreams for the future; the insecurities and weaknesses we bring to relationships; and much more. I felt at home in his company and trusted him completely with the information I shared about my life. I even shared the dream I have for a certain business I would like to start that I haven’t shared with anyone because it is so fragile in my heart. These were not the trivial conversations that one takes lightly, enjoying the moment, but soon forgetting what was said, blaming too many margaritas. How do I know? Because I remember everything, and because the next time I saw him, he encouraged me in in my secret dream.
As the evening progressed on out first meting, he invited his host to join us, and again it was a case of feeling completely at ease with people that I didn’t know. And it got me thinking — how can I have more conversation, and trust, and comfort with two perfect strangers that I can with many of the people I call friends? The answer was simple.
A true traveller is someone who consciously remains judgement free, and is constantly seeking to understand something from another’s perspective. There is absolute freedom for honesty and vulnerability when we remove the prospect of judgement, because every traveller knows that in conversation, all we are doing is trying to understand each other and be understood.
The objective is not to be correct, occupy the moral high ground, or have the last word. In conversation, you listen to hear the person’s heart, and respond to it from your heart; you don’t listen just to formulate a reply. You know that you will disagree on points, but that just because you disagree with someone, does not mean that they are wrong, just that you are looking at something from another angle, and cultural perspective.
It is fantastic to be in these conversations, because they are often the healthiest conversations that we have in our lives. We all agree that it is, more often than not, easier to speak to a fellow traveller than it is to speak to those we know well. Perhaps it is because we don’t feel that we have anything to prove to another traveller — who we may or may not see again — that we have no fear of judgement. Perhaps those who know us well, really do judge us in a million little ways, because they think that they are the same as us and therefore we should think and act alike.
We all occupy our own unique worlds. Individual expressions of something greater, and therefore we are essentially our own countries, with our own cultural nuances unique to us.
Perhaps, if we want to have more authentic relationships, we should endeavour to spend each and every day, in every conversation, being our truer traveller-selves, and we should allow others the freedom to do the same.
My challenge to you is for the next 5 conversations you have — dare to be vulnerable, and listen to the person’s heart before you listen to their words. Dare to communicate like a traveller.
