Plus Size Dating

Your body and others unnecessary opinions about it.

Being a plus size woman and being in the dating scene gets a variety of different reactions and responses.

Lets set the scene for how it starts 90 percent of the time. The outcome however varies. On my couch eagerly waiting for the guy I have been talking to for a week to respond. Gripping my phone tightly in my hand. The vibration of my phone sets off the butterflies in my stomach. And then.. the feeling of anxiety rushes through me. He wants more body pictures. I thought I sent him enough but he wants more.

(Disclosure: I would never lead anyone to think I was thin. I am always willing to send pictures of myself and body. But years of rejection have resulted in anxiety.)So I send the picture. If I’m lucky he will love it or just not respond ever again. When I’m unlucky it usually ends with something hurtful being said. My favorite bad or should I say horrible response was

“Next time you talk to someone you should show more revealing pictures and not hide your obesity. That way you don’t waste both our time”.

To this day I still can’t believe someone said that to me!

Other responses to my body type include the following:

• “Never been with a curvy girl, only really skinny girls”. — Before sex
• “You use to be skinny. Are you ever going to go back to that”? — After sex

My curves and chub shouldn’t be what defines me. I’m more then just a body type. I’m a human being and I deserve the same level of respect, kindness and empathy as everyone else. No one deserves to be treated poorly.

Whether you have been shamed for being too fat or too skinny and everything in between you’re not alone.

It’s been a slow journey but every day I get a little closer to being more comfortable in my skin and loving me for who I am.