“The best seat in the house”

20 years later, a mother Dessa Gazic recalls the day she lost the love of her life

Mother Dessa Gazic, sitting in her New Jersey home

By Nicole Kretz 9/21/16

It was suppose to be the day of his final surgery. My husband was in the hospital for almost a month now. I didn’t understand why the doctor was taking so long to treat him, but I had my trust in him and waited. I visited him everyday, but each day he seemed to be in more pain than the last. The day the doctor told me, “today is the day we will take him to surgery” was the day I thought my prayers were answered.

The day of my husbands surgery I arrived to the hospital early. I wanted my face to be the first thing he saw after he woke up. The doctor rolled him into the room, and I will never forget the look on the his face when he told me my husbands infection had spread and there is nothing more they can do for him here. I did not understand, I didn’t know why he waited so long to do the surgery, was that it, was he giving up.

My son was so angry he started yelling at the doctor, and before I could process what was going on my son was asking for a transfer to a different hospital. The doctor soon informed us that the hospital does not do transfers, I couldn't believe that this man who told me he would do anything to save my husband was giving up on us. I knew right then and there if we wanted a chance we needed to move fast.

My children and I took matters into our own hands, we took him, put him in the car and rushed him to the nearest hospital in the local area. Once we arrived at the hospital we ran around looking for anyone that would help us. Soon he was admitted and when the doctor came into diagnose him, he looked up at me and said, “why did you wait so long.” With tears in my eyes I told him the whole story, and before I could even finish they had my husband being prepped and sent off to surgery.

Hours went by feeling like days waiting for the surgery to be over. The moment I saw the doctor walking towards us was the day my life changed forever. I never thought I would hear the next words that were about to come out of his mouth, “despite all of our efforts, we have lost your husband, I am so sorry for your loss.” Those words felt like a knife going straight into my heart. He was really gone, the husband and father of my children, the love of my life was gone forever.

20 years later our children are married, and having children of their own. The pain of that day will always be with me but just becasue one life stops does not mean we stop living. I lost my person, but I know he is always with me. I wish he could meet his grandchildren, and walk his daughter down the isle, but I know he is always watching over us. I know now he has the best seat in the house.

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