This summer, I am getting my first real taste at living in the real world. School doesn’t start until the fall, and I chose to spend my summer away from home living in an apartment with strangers, working an unpaid internship with a part time job, and financially supporting myself. This is only the beginning, of what will be a lifetime of responsibility, work, and insecurity.

However, this is my last month as a teenager (I’m hitting 20 in 20+ days), so the pressure to have it all figured out (whatever that means) it not totally turned on just yet. But I want to kickstart the learning process of taking control of my life and finding happiness and fulfillment in whatever I end up doing.

As the college academic year ceased mid June, I fell into a bit of a depression. I was already regretting my decision to stay away from home, and I wasn’t taking the best care of myself. Letting weight gain (Caused by Cookies), bad skin (Caused by Cheese), social hermiting (Caused by the desire to eat more Cookies and Cheese), dominate my mindset, I began to fear failure and inadequacy. I was letting self doubt control how I was viewing myself and living my life. This played tag with me for a couple weeks, momentarily being uplifted by a good workout, pleasant outing with a friend, or a good meal. My parents picked me up a little over a week ago to visit home for my grandmother’s July 4th 88th birthday, and to spend some time regrouping after the school year. While home brings me good company, comfort, and luxury, it doesn’t fulfill me to what I am looking for. (What am I looking for?!)

So as I packed my bag this morning, I became overwhelmed with anxiety and sadness. I was leaving my Knows Exactly What to Say Family, Bust a Random Dance Move Anytime Friends, Cuddly Pug (Pictured below), full pantry of snacks (Plus Homecook Meals), security, comfort zone, free rent, upright piano, familiarity….AM I NUTS?!? This is my choice! I am consciously chosing to take myself away from this. Why?? Why am I dong this?

Then it hit me. It’s because I am searching for something. I don’t know what it is, but there is something that I need to figure out myself in order to gain more happiness and understanding as I transition into an adult. It might not be concrete, it may not be one sole experience, but I need to take control of my process to get there. It’s time to make the comfort zone a friend and not an enemy.

And here I am, laying in my bed in my apartment. Inspired to write about what I learn and experience. And how I am so eager to share it. It’s exciting. I hope you enjoy my blog. I plan on writing with the goal to effect others, while simply letting out my thoughts, passions, questions, tips, angers, about all topics from A to Z, North to South, from how to cook spaghetti to an alligator on a leash. (Yeah, that happened) Also, while anecdotes and backstory will be prevalent in this blog, I aim to make my writing more informational, contemplative, and entertaining.

Hokay, let’s do this!☺