Go Ahead and Cancel Me… I Love Bad Candy!
Every year, Halloween comes around and candy lovers rejoice! Whether through trick or treating or half priced candy hauls at CVS we all end up with candy stashes in our homes. Most opt for the all-stars like Twix, Reeses Cups, Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. Then there are people like me…
My name is Nicole, and I love bad candy.
That’s right. I said it. Go ahead and cancel me. I can’t hold it in any longer.
I see my kind personally ATTACKED on the internet constantly. Mostly Facebook statuses along the lines of, “How could anyone like candy corn?” or “People who eat Tootsie Rolls are sick in the head!”
Usually I let these comments roll off my back, everyone is entitled to their opinion after all. But last night while scrolling I came across an article, “The Top 10 Worst Halloween Candy”… and the comments were ruthless. People were tearing into not only the candy itself but the fans who enjoy them. Well, internet, I have a good time with bad candy and I don’t care if you cancel me for it.
Here are the voted top 10 worst candies and why I love all of them.
1. Candy Corn

The most obvious because it’s the most popular to hate on. I will never understand how this sweet little angelic treat could be so polarizing. I love to nibble off the end of the candy corn, then the orange part and then lastly the yellow. I like the flavor and I like the texture. Yes when I eat them I feel sick and yes they do taste like sugary plastic…. SO!?!
2. Circus Peanuts

I think these are absolutely fire. I have not had one since I was a kid but looking at this picture I can taste and feel them in my mouth.
They feel like a super sugary marshmallow with a banana flavor. I cannot think of a better combination.
Why do they exist? I do not know! But they were invented in the 1800s so that may have something to do with it… Respect your elders!
3. Peanut Butter Kisses

Another one of those candies that I don’t really know the last time I ate but I can taste them as I look at this picture. The sweet chewy peanut butter taffy that tasted strongly of molasses. It clung to the waxy paper and stuck to your teeth… and I loved every second of it. Would I buy these… no. Would I eat a handful out of a candy bucket… absolutely!
4. Wax Cola- Bottles

Yeah… it doesn’t feel great to say but I absolutely love these. For anyone unfamiliar… you bite off the tip… and drink the weird sugary syrup inside… and that’s it…
Or if you’re 10 year old me you chew on the wax for an hour afterwards!
5. Necco Wafers

I can’t believe how many people hate these. They are one of my favorite candies! Maybe it’s the nostalgia, my dad loves them and we used to eat them together, but I think Necco Wafers are fabulous. The flavors of these little chalky discs are orange, lemon, lime, clove, chocolate, cinnamon, licorice, and wintergreen. Name a better flavor lineup… I dare you!
6. Tootsie Rolls

Another VERY controversial opinion of mine is that Tootsie Rolls rule.
Light chocolate taffy that reminds me of a malt. I think these are great especially when inside of a lollipop.
And to all the haters out there… 64 million Tootsie Rolls get made every day… so stay mad!!!!!
7. Smarties

These little chaotic disks bring me so much joy. I love how I can taste each of these colors and experience them all so differently. I love untwisting the extremely thin plastic and watching them fall out everywhere. They are adorable mayhem just like me. They feel so hallow and the disappear so quickly. My only complaint is I wish there were more!
8. Black Licorice

I know I’m about to get cancelled for this one… black licorice is a bop. I love the color, the flavor, and the shape. Red licorice is cool too. But black is better.
Yes the FDA just released a warning about them being unhealthy to consume… I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT OKAY!?!?!
9. Good and Plenty

These are little pink and white pills that taste like licorice that Grandpas love to eat. Of course I love them!!!! I love the crunchy outside, the licorice flavor, and I love Grandpas!
10. Bit-O- Honey

These are almond bits covered in honey taffy. Do they taste like they were invented in 1924? Yes. But that’s because they were. That also explains the adorable packaging with the little Bee on it. I remember eating these as a kid with popcorn and feeling sweet bliss as the candy attempted to yank my teeth out.
So there it is. My reasoning and defenses for the 10 most hated candy crew. I invite you all to unfriend me, unfollow me, and fire me from my job.
To all the other candy reject lovers, let us unite in the comments and discuss other honorable mentions that weren’t in this article. Let us show each other we are not alone in our love for DIPSTIX and Charleston Chews!
And may we shout to the world, “I’m a bad candy fan and I’m proud!”
