a shameful high-five

is this what i have been handing myself all these years?
shameful high-fives for distasteful indulgences.
watching myself sell myself for a bit of acceptance,
never seeing the other side of me screaming
full of conviction tearing the heart right out my chest.

all of my choices, the voices insisting i am wrong
where were you when i needed you to be strong

here’s to my disgrace an army of goodbyes
sent to pass on these shameful high-fives