Conversation of a lifetime.

I have stopped reading about the universe.
How could I do that?
The sky no longer looks nicely at me as it used to.
The moon no longer gives me warmth.
Stars have turned their faces away from me.
And the Sun no longer sets. It remains as it is in…

Springfield, Dublin

Greener junkyards and pale bedrooms.
The closet doesn’t smell familiar anymore,
How I wish he could cry like that again,
A gentle touch on the head; those black toughened hands,
How I wish I could pay her a visit again,
Deep under the soils, I hear her mother cry
And every new day, I fail to…

There is a reason why
the weather is so dry tonight,
There is a reason why
this melancholic winter
has to ruin the autumn’s reign.
There is a sky
that keeps an eye
open, to just watch,
The deals of the clouds, with the clouds
Of the earth, with the earth,
Did you ever know why?
Did you ever think that the smiles, and
the droplets of rain, snowflakes and letters,
get dissolved into the earth’s chest,
That they come from me?
Did you ever know what I have been dying for?
Did you know what messages
enter your soul,
through your eyes
Whenever I cry, and whenever I look into you,
Did you ever know there were questions too
Inside this heart, besides the riot
Did you? Oh mate! Did you?

For life wouldn’t be a life anymore,
Without an owner, to lend all your beliefs to,
And with a blasphemous purpose of life,
I propose the downfall of all my creation
A glimpse of the orator’s script,
And I wouldn’t have to die for a heaven anymore
Am I too selfish?
Or too cruel to nature’s beliefs?
For I don’t want to breathe anymore,
And I didn’t know it would be a loss,
The loss of a poem for that matter,
A trigger, a barrel, and the bullet of glass,
From the beloved , to the beloved,
Find me a singer, and let her smile,
So I could cry in remorse again,
Find me a poet and all his poetry,
So I could be able to die again.

A few more questions. A few more words.

Could I not go where the wind took me,
Would you not be with me by then?
I translated the unknown into what I did,
Did you even spare some specs to hold onto what you wanted?
How do I break these branches, trees, your cries,
I always end up planting a new…

When wishes reach the stars…

Here in this valley of flawed emotions
and fake existences
They know me, they all seem familiar to me
And that is a shame.
A loss, so irreparable.

These distant lights
i have always wanted to dissolve into, and
When the past has never been so bright before
The horizon is here…

Nida Ismail Shah

reluctantly calm, chaotic, enigmatic soul. Trying to find a way through.

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