About THE Dress

We all fell apart..

And all it took was a little blue — ok — white dress!

Because we — the rational, intelligent and superior beings who control the planet — the discoverers of the God particle if you may — are assured that every happenstance has an intelligent and logical explanation. However convoluted it may seem initially. We believe so much in our abilities, that small colonies are being planned to go and inhabit the red planet. We are so evolved, that one of the most popular reasons for us to fight amongst ourselves, is religion. Because, you know a concept that cannot be defined within the realms of actual science is worth fighting over.

But then, a middle aged lady somewhere in Scotland decided to come and screw with all our smug lives. On a day that decidedly belonged to her daughter — she decided to wear a garment that was destined to create one of the greatest rifts in human history. I meanKim and Kanye are fighting about it (as are Will and Kate, in their private rooms at Kensington of course). “I saw it with my own eyes“, is taking on a whole new meaning. Yes, the people who really ‘saw’ the dress say it was blue — and more importantly so does adobe photoshop. But then what about the ones who cannot for the life of them understand why such a beautiful cream and gold garment is being given such a violet hue!

But have a heart — we all know that we are rational, intelligent and superior beings (refer paragraph 1). We will wait for the official explanation from the White house, the United nations and the Society of scientists building the latest colour particle decelerator. Meanwhile there will be silent protests and twitter # campaigns between the two sides. The dress will be milked for jokes on a roast which will then be served up as burnt toast. People will decry this new version of racism — because you know calling black, ‘gold’ is just that. Activists will take up the cause of the workers in Bangladesh who get paid a pittance to create such mind altering garments at such a low cost. Speaking of which,fashion gurus are already in a huddle over how to make Marsala change colour at sight.

There are going to be realms and realms of words going to be written about this one garment — Narendra Modi’s name design bandhgala cannot even try to keep pace.People will do their Ph.Ds on various aspects of the phenomenon, there will be Ted talks, the original manufacturer may take out a patent — who knows! (I mean I would ;-)) and of course a big name actress will want to be cast in the movie about the dress.

And then as a surfeit of all of this happens, the magic will wear off. We will shrug our shoulders at the ‘done-to-death’ dress thingamajig and go back to seeing the world with our own eyes. We will forget that one day a rather shabby old photo of a dowdy old dress made us rub our eyes in wonder. In which we poked and prodded each other about the magic that was clearly happening among us. We will slowly forget that all things are clearly not what they seem — and that we do not really have it all figured out.

Ah, well!

PS : It is BLUE!