Failing with Flair

How to go forward when you’ve messed up really big.

If you’ve lived long enough (like past 8 years old), you’ve come to a point where you find yourself in a pickle of your own making. A really BIG pickle. One you’d really rather not have everyone know about. You know those times? I thought you might. You may have said or done something where only you are aware of the consequences. Or you might have neglected to do something that was important. The what doesn’t really matter. You’re afraid of the consequences.

What matters is the paralysis the fear can cause. You need to fix it. But fixing it requires being visibly wrong in front of at least one, probably more, person who will not be pleased. At a certain point, your mess has gone on long enough that you wonder what would happen if you just ignored it…forever. It’s grown in your mind until it may be bigger there than it actually is. Where to start? It all should have been fixed like — yesterday. What do you do first??

Step one: Breathe. It’s gonna be ok.

Step two: Just. Start. Take one thing and fix it. The longer you stay paralyzed by the fear, the longer it will go on. You don’t have to have it all fixed right this second. The only one who expects us to be perfect is US. If you need help, get it. They’ll be more mad if you need help but keep waiting and refuse to ask.


Talk to yourself the way you would to your best friend. Look at it from the outside in. Take the shame, fear and anxiety off the table for just a minute. What would you tell them to do? Now go do it.

You messed up. Own it. Learn from it. Don’t do that one again. See that? That was growth!

And breathe. You got this.