I consider myself a man, in the sense that i am a full grown adult male. I have all the correct components that define me as a man including man speak with deep voice and hairy knuckles. I have a wife and 2 children which further solidifies societies version on manliness.
At my tender age of 34 I thought i new everything about being a man and being manly but I have come to realize that this is not the case and the truth is that manliness is more complex than it appears to be. The definition of being a man is not what what it was in the 80’s and certainly not the 70's.
Society is a poor modelling agent
Society in general as a collective by its nature seeks to model each new generation without much guidance. I have found that society uses a blanket approach with definitions and concepts like ‘man’, ‘woman’ and ‘civilized’ among millions of others.
“If simplicity defines intelligence than society is very stupid”! — someone
Society creates the canvas and the expectation in the minds of literally everyone to conform to an ideal way of life and living but it fails to produce a blueprint with its definitions and concepts. This is where the entire manverse [man universe] falls apart. This is where youngsters become lost, confused and mislead by others that are also lost. I was one of these youngsters.
Picking up the pieces
The term ‘man’ is both destructive and empowering. When we grow and walk about this planet with every other lost and confused male we find ourselves confused and our identity becomes distorted and unshapely. Societies definitions need correcting and this is done by the non-confused strong males around us.
Being a man is a powerful statement when it is looked at correctly. Take away the physical of the definition in that we take away the male body image, hair, testosterone and balls. We are left the ‘man energy’ the actual mansense [man essence]. This is the stuff that defines and makes man a man. The protector and the hunter since the dawn of human existence. The pure evolutionary intention of nature — Hunter and Protector of the village.
Hunter and Protector archetypes are gender neutral
Gender identity is not owned by the definitions of man and woman — again a societal expectation. The essence of the hunter and protector archetype is a better way to understand the power of manliness and the responsibility that comes with it. No matter the gender, manliness is a concept of being.
I was brought up under the oldschool way of manliness by my Father and Grandfather both of which i love deeply. The oldschool is a funny thing in that it is both good and bad when it comes to educating new generations of man. Complete with smoking tobacco and drinking whiskey I was taught some important man principles that I still exercise today.
Man Principles taught to me by my Manly Men
- Family is wealth and a privilege.
- Respect is not given but earned.
- Respecting others is more about your actions toward them than fluffy words.
- Mom is the most important person until your married then your Wife takes first place.
- Kids need a strong stable male always.
- If the only way to communicate is with your fists, use them well.
Being a man is personal journey of growth and development complete with failure, pain and loss. It is also filled with joy, reward and success. I cannot speak on behalf of woman but in so far that I am a man I will exercise my manliness to improve my life and those that are entrusted to me.