Randomly speaking about myself

i’m really not sure about this .. but anyways , this needs to be shared ..

here i am , 18 years old .. with so much to say .. so many dreams .. so much hope ..

at this point in my life i have not a clue what will come in my future , what my future self looks like or thinks about , here i am !

18 year old Nihad trying to get ahead, to get closer to those chine big dreams of hers!

A year ago i was right here in the same place and i dreamt of great things ! i thought that in this coming year i would do so much and you know what i just realized ? that back then ( only a year ago) i hadn’t thought for a second that in this coming year i was going TO LEARN ! TO FAIL ! it hadn’t even crossed my mind !

Now one year later , i see it ! i haven’t done most of what i said i would do ! but I FAILED ! i had my good share of FAILING and i learned so much .. the funniest thing is that i only learned things i knew already ! but knowing about something and knowing something isn’t the same at all !!

I knew i ought to study and be serious but now , i learned how to be so !

I knew i ought to not trust people and never expect them to be perfect , Today more than ever before ( and probably less than in the future ) i know what that Means !

i knew i ought to organize myself and go beyond my limits , i knew i had the skill and potential to do so much , and today more than ever i see that potential clearly and i have a clearer idea of what to do with it and how to use all of it .. well almost !

I knew some of what i wanted to do in my life ( or i thought i did ) but now i am sure , I have not A CLUE !! LOL ! funny hein ? yeah ! but today i know what i wanna do today , next week and this summer .. More than that ? we’ll leave that for later ! ( Something else i learned !)

now passing to what i didn’t know :

I never knew how to not let the past ( it could be your last exams or your ex boyfriend or your bad morning !) stop my present ! i learned how to block my negative thoughts and go on ! till it’s over , IT AIN’T OVER ! ( sounds obvious hein ? well it took me a whole year to really master some of that skill ! i got a pretty bad grades and was at risk of failing my whole year , my one way out was that i dust myself off and work ! and so i did ! when it was all over i looked back and i was pretty amazed ! yeah ! i did that ! i didn’t even know i was that capable but i was ! when your life is on the line , you do that kindda shit :p )

To be continued ! ( they’re kicking us out of la BN :3 :D )

this was written on May 28th right before my last exam !

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