The NYC Effect
Here we go
Disclaimer: everybody is different and sees things in their own way, this is just based off of my experiences.
I moved to NYC in the midst of COVID. July 2020 to be exact. My first week here I was asked to speak to a news channel because a CEO was found chopped up in his apartment in the neighboring building of mine. I was somehow seeing a South African woman trying to be a model (who asked my friends for $), hated my job, myself and had no idea what I was doing with my life at all.
2 years later I am extremely content with the decision I made to move to this toxic yet beautiful city. I think the TLDR of lessons learned in NYC so far is just to stop caring about 99% of the things that don’t actually matter. Chances are… it was never that deep. The “art” of detachment is a real thing, one that takes a lot of practice, one that I am still learning about myself. That being said, the amount of “forced” growth that can occur here is crazy… if you are open to it.
For those who are considering a big move or just curious about the life of an unhinged brown man in New York City, here you go:
Who cares?
In all seriousness, this phrase has helped me more than I expected. I’ve been able to meet people in NYC of many different backgrounds, career paths, values, perspectives, and personalities. There is one thing in common with all the people who are genuinely happy in an over-stimulating city of over-achievers; they really don’t care about anyone else’s opinion when it comes to the things they value the most (which differs individually). It applies to literally everything:
You want to take a risk in your career and go do something less stable because you’ll actually like what you do all day? Do it, and if all else fails you learned a lot and have another opportunity that will come sooner than you think. The dollar amount only matters for so long if you want to pull your hair out every day… and if you become really good at what you actually like doing then the $ will flow in too.
You want to learn about something that you think is too complex for you to understand? Go talk to the 1000s of people here who became experts in that subject that started with the exact same fears as you. Impostor Syndrome is vital to exponential growth.
You about to send that DM that makes you wanna shit yourself? Do it… only one way to know, you’ll get over it. Being surrounded by so many confident and focused people has taught me a lot, something I used to be terrible at. I had no game at all when I got here trust me.
You don’t want to do what everybody else around you is doing with their time? Don’t, go do something by yourself and figure out what you actually feel stimulated partaking in. Could be reading, writing, walking, just relaxing, some creative thing that you’ve been neglecting that no one else knows about, the opportunities are endless and there is a large community for whatever it is that gets you moving.
You want to wear something that is “out there”? There is literally no type of batshit crazy outfit that I haven’t seen here, and each one ends up being amazing somehow. You have access to every single type of fashion type to figure out what clothes / accessories / whatever it is that makes you the most confident. There is no shortage of “drip” and personality out here, and you deserve to explore what that means for yourself… get creative.
This was the tip of the iceberg on what I learned from living here for a couple years. The beauty of a place as diverse as NYC is that you can really pick and choose your lessons and pursuits. There are endless communities to dabble with. The best part? If you hated it you can just never look back, chances are you still learned something about yourself in the process which is a W in my eyes.
Being surrounded by everything you can possibly think of is definitely stressful at times, but having this vast exposure and curiosity at a young age is something I know I will be really glad about when I am older.
Highly recommend going out of your comfort zone, challenging your perspectives with other people, and not being afraid of what others think as it has 0 actual impact on your life and future. NYC (if done with the right mindset) is just an accelerator for getting to know yourself, and I would not change a thing.
*Opinions expressed are solely my own and do not express the views or opinions of my employer*
