Red

I sit,

curved spine, and bare breast,

on the floor of this room that’s trying to feel like home.

But it’s only loneliness that lives here.

This is the creative

release

after coming through the door,

books on the ground,

striped of clothing,

of straps confining me,

straining my muscles.

I’m here on the floor,

hands in my hair,

sweat sticky

on my skin.

This day has been too much.

I can’t work anymore but there’s a wall before me.

But I need to take care of my body,

no appetite. Except for life,

for more.

And I wonder what it means, today

to tend my sacred heart

bleeding

Like the heavy flow of blood,

spilling out of me,

that makes my insides ache

like my feet,

my empty stomach,

my neck.

And it’s red

like your lips and flushed cheeks today

that made my hands and knees tremble

I want the world.

But today the only world I can have is

the earth on my feet,

and the gross human of my body

that holds these ghosts and gods.

Feet, goosebumps, breasts, and curls,

you can have them.

But God knows I’ll try to clean them up first.