Stuffy
On a typical dreary day outside London, Harold, in his middle ages, and visibly exhausted from the days work, in his slightly disheveled suit, idly walks into a fluorescent lit general store. Absentmindedly looking at the shelves he notices a younger man, lanky, skinny, slouched, and a bit unkempt, obviously because of lack of necessity, looking bored and worn from some years of mindless retail work, but content all the same, lazily re-shelving.
Harold steps to the side, closer to him and, with a wisp of a question as to why he was lent to do so, he asked
“excuse me sir, could I get some help?”
“Yeah, course, ow can I help you sir?” he replied, looking at Harold with an inappropriate delay, but still, with a placid compliance.
After a moment, staring impolitely at the man’s slight gaping mouth, Harold inquired,
“Which of these alarm clocks is good?” gesturing at the few rows and options of alarm clocks on the shelf in front of him.
“tha all depends”. The man gave a nonchalant gesture with his hand, maintaining eye contact with Harold with no further explanation. Minimizing his natural reaction, Harold inappreciably raised his brow and chin in response to the man’s incomplete answer, leaned forward, and continued.
“Depends on what?”
“Well, on what you’re looking for” said the man, still maintaining his fragmented replies and steady mannerisms.
“I want an alarm clock that is going to wake me up on time for work in the morning” Harold tersely explained, growing impatient with the man’s slow and incorrectly perceived contempt for his job, and Harold’s needs as a customer. Detecting this, the man, just as at ease as before, provided more information.
“Weo, you’ve got two options. Vis one, which as a money back guarantee, an vis one, which costs a bit more, but doesn ave the money back guarantee. So you know, whatevea you won.”
“Why does this one have the money back guarantee?”
“Weo I figure tha one’ll probably shit out on you sooner so we offer it for less money, plus a money back guarantee…”
“Isn’t it better to just spend a few extra on the other?” Harold interrupted the man’s gabber.
“Tha one’s gonna shit out on ya too, it’ll just take a bit longa.”
“So both are going to shit out on me eventually?”
“Yeah thas about right. Because if you choose the money back guarantee you can bring it back once it stops workin and get a little money back. But if you choose the other one, it’ll last a little longer, but you wont get any money back. So I guess you gotta decide how long you want your alarm clock before you bring it back and ave to think about this another time” the man said conclusively and stared blankly.
Shaking his head in drained disbelief, Harold picked the alarm clock without the money back guarantee off the shelf. The man, still looking at Harold, commented “Good choice I fink. Tha way you can ave more time to do somefing, wif less money” said the man as a last offering and looked back to his task as Harold gave a curt exhale, re-shelved the clock, and bruskly exited the store.
