Never let them fade away, especially on Memorial Day
by Niki Marin, Co-founder & Owner of The Leadership Supply Co.
It was midnight as I walked down the runway to the aircraft carrier for my final flight out of Afghanistan. I was ready for a respite from the volatile and unpredictable revolving door of events that shape a military deployment. My job at the time as a logistics officer was to procure and deliver supplies for hundreds of soldiers dispersed throughout the Nangarhar province and surrounding areas. I was dreaming of the headrest of the airplane seat that awaited me when a tap on my shoulder and the cold words, “ma’am you will not be leaving on this flight” woke me instead. What transpired within the next few hours was a blur of emotions after I was told that my friend and teammate on the battlefield, Dimitri del Castillo, was no longer with us.
Instead of waiting for a departure, I was now anxiously anticipating an arriving flight that carried Dimitri’s wife, Katie, my bunkmate and confidant. What followed was the experience of a lifetime — one that continues to teach me lessons as I move through life. I grasped Katie in my arms as her feet touched the runway, the first of many embraces in a process that came too soon in our lives. Witnessing Katie find the courage and poise to stand up and honor her husband in the ceremonies that followed taught me much about our individual ability to persevere. The tiredness I had felt on the runway days before turned into renewed energy I needed to be there for my friend. The overwhelming waves of support from families and communities was a lesson in the depths of the human experience.
“Those of us lucky enough to have witnessed their lives have the responsibility to continue our service to their memory and sacrifice — the same sacrifice that allows us to spend the holiday celebrating what has become the unofficial start to the summer.”
I went back to Afghanistan for another several months to complete my deployment, slightly more afraid than I already was yet grateful for the experience I had just come from. An experience that granted me the will and strength to be a better leader and continue to live out my value of service to others. Years later, when I was at the Old Guard, I was assigned “Dover Duty,” a rotational assignment to serve as the officer in charge of a welcome home ceremony for the flag-draped boxes of American fallen heroes. The profundity of the task was not lost on me given what I had experienced, as I helped to carry the coffin past the wailing cries of family members.
Memorial Day is always about reflection for our friends who are not lost, but found eternally living through us. Those of us lucky enough to have witnessed their lives have the responsibility to continue our service to their memory and sacrifice — the same sacrifice that allows us to spend the holiday celebrating what has become the unofficial start to the summer. The day means more to those directly impacted — the spouses, children, parents, siblings, friends, and veterans who are inextricably connected by the experience of honoring a loved one. Even if you have no ties to the military, this Memorial Day take a few minutes to read someone’s story. You would be joining us in the work to never let them fade away.
Please consider a donation to the Dimitri del Castillo Fund. Read more about & support Katie’s business at Stripes and Whimsy.
