learning loneliness

I think women are conditioned to feel loneliness differently than men. Not only are we taught that it it is normal to feel lonely at times, we are also told how to be lonely. We isolate ourselves because of our emotions, so as to not alienate others. We learn not just how to “be alone”, but how to live so that we can incorporate “alone time”. We are encouraged to take time for ourselves, and love ourselves so completely, that we don’t need anyone else. We are taught that if we don’t take the necessary steps to be comfortable with loneliness, we are somehow incomplete or unevolved. We are taught that the detriment of omitting this important step in our lives leads us to self-destruction, and inability to be free and/or loved.
Why is it that we have to love being alone in order to feel the joy of being with someone? As human beings, we are all built differently, and some of us need to alone time to process and be content, but some of us need interactions and connections to enhance our lives.

I am not advocating that being alone at times is not beneficial, but I do not believe that it is a prerequisite to love or contentment. I want to empower women to be themselves, not the version of themselves that society deems appropriate, evolved or simply will get them more dates.

Let’s not work against ourselves and our own nature, let’s get in touch with what makes us alive, and grab for more of it. I am not just okay with the seat next to me to be taken, I am ready for it. Not because I have learned to be alone or how to be lonely, but because I know myself.