This is something I’ve never really thought about, but it makes a lot of sense. The best sex I’ve ever had was with a man who was unapologetically open about his sexuality (before and after we got together). He said things that caught me off guard because they could have been interpreted as creepy, but I liked it. There wasn’t so much second-guessing and absolutely no shame. With most men, that isn’t the case, and the second they start talking about not wanting to demean me or objectify me, I get uncomfortable. Because up until then, I wasn’t thinking of being demeaned, just of having a good time. But once that’s been said, the feeling lingers, and sex grows shameful (same of men who repeatedly insist that they usually don’t have casual sex, as though the blame for it rests solely on me charming them with my demonic female ways).